Are You OK With Being Unpopular?

I’d been writing a series of playing by your game/play-style, and now that I look back and think about it, it’s really a topic about facing your deepest fears —

That you may be rejected when when you embrace who you are (ie playing by your playstyle).

It’s a bloody deep-seated fear that deep, instinctual and guttural. Going back generations, being rejected could likely mean death then, which can explain the fear. Ha, we have modernize so much but the modern man today is probably still not that far from cavemen.

Hear me out.

The exercise and consideration is…YES, some would reject you. Realistically, MANY would reject you. But….BUT, WHAT IF, because you chose to be authentic, real (not in a nasty way, but in a kind, real and good way), you got 100 people, followers, who just love you for who you are and what you do.

What would you do?

Is it worth it?

This reminds me of the story in the bible where Abraham was pleading with God:

Then he said, ‘May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?’ He answered, ‘For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.’

Genesis 18:32

Where Abraham pleaded if there were 10 good men found in the city, God would not destroy the city?

Likewise, would you proceed to be authentic to yourself and your playstyle if it’d mean many rejections BUT 100+++ people who love you turn up?

It sounds ideal, but it can be really daunting. On paper and text, it sounds like “oh, if I have 100+ people who love me, I can ignore the others who hate me…”…but in real life, if there’s 900+ haters and 100+ who love you, can you take it?

I can assure you it can be really daunting and difficult.

You WILL question yourself…especially if / when

  1. You’re young and inexperienced, ie never done this before
  2. You’re a people pleaser, seeking attention and approval regardless of age (I’ve met OLD people who still do this)
  3. You give up easily
  4. You dont trust yourself enough

Today, at 42 years old, I am at the stage where I KNOW I

  1. cant please everyone nor can I get everyone to become my client or my tribe
  2. that I have only so much time and energy to serve a very select inner group of people

So…naturally, I HAVE to say no to those that are outside of my scope, time and energy, so I can say yes to the people and projects that are important to me. Be it due to value, interest or scale, and it’s highly logical.

That means whether they hate me or love me, I HAVE to allow only X amount of time and energy for the limited projects and people based on MY time, energy and interests.

Hate me or love me, but that’s all I can do, so that’s all I am gonna do.

It doesnt matter if I complain or cry or mope or push like mad – with life experiences of wins, losses, observations, I need to allocate the resources that I have the best I can.

This comes with a lot of liberation and freedom, and I dont feel as bad as before, less FOMO, less anxiety, more fun, more joy and more sincere communications and connections.

This way is more fun, sustainable and enjoyable – it becomes meaningful service and conversations…and yet I get to earn more. Why didn’t I do this earlier?

Simple: cos I didnt dare to be authentic, and I was inexperienced.

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