Welcome to nigelchua.com – I’m dedicated to building the life I love, with a deeper sense of purpose, meaning and profound growth and existence. It is a monster of an endeavour – I try to go deeper about what life is about, and what the meaning is. And because it’s so broad and deep, it is helpful to have a rough outline of
In a sense, this page is my central learning and mastery HQ – it includes how I make sense of the world, uncover success principles and more. It includes the ongoing addition, additional and updating of my entire philosophy, thesis, reasons for being/progress, manifesto, growth, mental/emotional processing skills and more – it is a very, very, very long article with lots of linking to pages and articles.
You should spend at least a 100 hours learning and mastering the foundations and fundamental theories. Action is very important, but without first understanding the roots of your problems, that action will easily be misdirected or distracted. It takes time for the big picture to form and make sense in your mind…and it will be worth it.
Consider nigelchua.com as the study of “unlocking the true hidden game ending, but in real life” where you gain an ability, a chance, a perspective to see things differently…and to make conscious specific decisions to get a specific outcome you want. Once you realize this, you can’t unsee or unrealize it.
Table Of Contents
- 1 Blue Pill or Red Pill?
- 2 Documenting My Growth Journey
- 3 First, Master The Basics: Science Of Achievement
- 4 The Art Of Fulfillment: Good Success, Mastering Your Inner Game; Pursuing Happiness & What Matters Most
- 4.1 WHAT I Share About (I): Broad Life Success & Growth Categories
- 4.1.1 Abundance, Money, Investing & Passive Income
- 4.1.2 Contributions & Giving Back
- 4.1.3 Critical AwareFeelThink Decision Making & Creating Reality
- 4.1.4 Emotions, Mindset, Beliefs, Values, Purpose & Meaning
- 4.1.5 Entrepreneurship, Marketing, Leadership, Cashflow & Impact
- 4.1.6 Habits, Performance & Productivity
- 4.1.7 Health, Energy & Vitality
- 4.1.8 Integrity, Gratitude, Resilience, Compassion, Simplicity, Courage, Patience, Peaceful, Good, Gentle, Self Control, Faith & Love
- 4.1.9 Love, Relationships, Kinships & Home
- 4.1.10 Curiousity, Play, Rest, Fun, Serendipity & Adventuring
- 4.2 WHAT I Share About (II): Foundations and Fundamentals of Growth, Meaning & Self-Actualization
- 4.2.1 Intro Videos To Growth, Meaning & Self Actualization
- 4.2.2 Foundational Videos To Watch
- 4.2.3 Core Concepts To Research And Understand
- 4.2.4 Core Practices & Techniques To Start Doing
- 4.2.5 Most Important Habits And Routines To Build
- 4.2.6 Biggest Traps Of This Life, Mind and The World aka The Works
- 4.3 WHO Do I Write For / To?
- 4.4 WHY I Share What I Do
- 4.1 WHAT I Share About (I): Broad Life Success & Growth Categories
Blue Pill or Red Pill?
In the movie “The Matrix” when Morpheus offered Neo to choose between the red pill and the blue pill.
- The red pill represents an uncertain future—it would free him from the enslaving control of the machine-generated dream world and allow him to escape into the real world, but living the “truth of reality” is harsher and more difficult.
- On the other hand, the blue pill represents a beautiful prison—it would lead him back to ignorance, living in confined comfort without want or fear within the simulated reality of the Matrix.
As described by Morpheus: “You take the blue pill…the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill…you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Neo chose the red pill and joins the rebellion.
We can’t become who and what we want to be by remaining what and where we are.
This includes God, Christianity, meta-cognition, awareness, conscious decision making, facing fears and overcoming them, courage, actualization, truth, finding out what makes you annoyed / tick etc.
You may even discover what makes you tick (happiness), superpowers, meaning and much, much more.
It’s hard work, and exceedingly rewarding.
At the center of it all, nigelchua.com is about personal development, happiness and mastering our inner game.
- When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm – African Proverb
- Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand – Matthew 12:25
Documenting My Growth Journey
I bought this domain name in 2009 to share what I’ve learned in my life, success, pains and passive income journey to make each area of my life as masterful and successful as I can.
Originally, it was for myself, to document my struggles, growth and adventure journey of
- improving myself
- building a good life and
- mastering good success
until a few things happened, some sudden, some over some time:
- My learning experiences as an entrepreneur since 2008
- My dad died quickly in May 2014
- I became a dad in 2015 (and again in 2017 hoho!)
- Some institutions and individuals went out of their way to hurt me and my wife legally, financially, commercially and rumors-wise
- I took an 18 month sabbatical timeout to recover, strategize and ponder
- Joined my wife in her physiotherapy start up in June 2019 – current
Things become increasingly clearer to me as I experience these experiences, on top with continuing to improve my skills as an entrepreneur, leader, business owner, father, investor etc. Some things that were important to me then, are no longer important to me now.
My style of personal development integrates hundreds of diverse perspectives, very big picture understanding, existential investigation, philosophy, mentality, goodness, love and pragmatism. My aim is to understand and experience life at the deepest and best levels possible.
If you’re looking for quick-fixes, this work isn’t for you – there will be ZERO meaningful self-transformation will happen impatiently.
But if you diligently take action on everything below, you will feel and become a totally new human being.
During my journey, I am documenting everything I observe, experience and learn, and I hope this documentation will too help you build the life you love, master your inner game, live the life you want and become the person you’d always wanted to be.
It’s a long journey adventure, but it’s super fun and rewarding hoho!
First, Master The Basics: Science Of Achievement
You’ve got to take care and sort out the basics, the fundamentals as I like to call it.
These fundamentals are:
- Earn more with entrepreneurship
- Save more and investing for passive income
Mind, Meaning & Mental Health
There is a science to these, of which if certain laws are ignored, there is a direct cause and effect. For example, if you don’t sleep enough, that would just lead to difficulty focusing, making mistakes, or worse, having accidents at work or personally.
Every of these fundamentals are equally important, and I added the asterisks (** and *) to two Life Accelerators that when sorted, will accelerate your ability to go to the next level usually by first freeing up your time and giving you more energy.
The Art Of Fulfillment: Good Success, Mastering Your Inner Game; Pursuing Happiness & What Matters Most
If you hadn’t freed up your time and lifestyle by building additional streams of income with entrepreneurship, do that first. I usually recommend learning and mastering entrepreneurship because there is so much personal development and growth work in it, which solves a lot of issues in the first place (including discovering meaning and purpose). Plus, it’s hard to do deep work when we’re too tired or too busy chasing deadlines at work
Abundance, Money, Investing & Passive Income
Abundance is when you realize money is value and value can be created anytime, as long as you can recognize what is demands and needs. Once you get it…you’ll see that there is abundance and opportunities everywhere. And that is why the poor get poorer and the rich get richer – abundance is more of an awareness skill rather than being born into, or winning the lottery – as we know, many people born into rich families or winning lotteries tend to lose their money after a certain amount of time ie 3-generations max.
Money is a medium of value exchange, and it’s the easiest to use as a measurement tool ie earn $100 or $1000 or $3000 – easy to measure. It has zero morals or characteristics other than it will amplify the nature of whoever who uses or wields eg an evil person with money will use it for evil / immoral things; a good person with money will use it for good things.
The most important thing for you to understand is
- Keep your costs of living very low – the lower your cost of living, the faster you can save more to invest in passive income assets or build businesses to help you accelerate your exiting rat race and retire, to focus on what’s most important to you. Stop buying dumb shit that you don’t care about.
- Build / acquire assets that will provide you with passive income (also known as cash flow) that will fund your lifestyle
- The fastest way to income is usually entrepreneurship (that’s why I recommend it so much), but of course entrepreneurship has risks (more than 90% of businesses fail) and takes time (you have to grind and hustle and be patient for at least 5-10+ years)
- Invest for passive income with little to no work required over the long term – typically things like index funds investing or wealth management for savvier investors…that pays you passive income like clockwork.
Contributions & Giving Back
We’re both a product of our environment (social, physical, emotional, familial, educational etc) as well as our internal.
Much of what I write and share about in nigelchua.com is mastering our inner world; but we cannot deny that our external world has a part to play as well.
Giving back and contributing to society and the world around you will be normal…once you realize that it’s the environment that built you for who you have become as the foundation (sometimes good, sometimes bad), and there will be opportunities for you to make your world and your society a better place.
Critical AwareFeelThink Decision Making & Creating Reality
Critical AwareFeelThink Decision Making and Creating Reality is a term I coin for thinking and feeling as much as possible, with the situation at hand, using that data to help me decide how to get closer to the kind of reality I wish to create and have.
It’s about consciously choosing the kind of outcomes and life I wish to experience despite/in-spite-of what’s in front of me now.
It works very well in both good and hard times.
Emotions, Mindset, Beliefs, Values, Purpose & Meaning
Mindset is how our mind works to experiencing and seeing the world through a specific set of rules. I agree deeply with the concept of Growth Mindset, which means that individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others). Such individuals tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts).
Emotions are generally a myriad of simple-to-complex feelings that we get when we do things or when we experience situations, and they can be influenced by many things such as experiences, culture, thoughts and behaviors. I dont like to complicate things, so I’ll sum emotions as heart data, which you can use as a reference point whenever you experience something. It can be pleasurable or not.
Emotions are data points that can be taught, so I believe that feelings doesn’t mean we are our feelings eg if we feel upset about someone cutting our lane, that doesn’t mean we’re always angry or not gracious. It could mean that we got out of bed on the wrong side, or that we didn’t sleep enough, or the person was rude or that the person could remind us of someone we dislike – its random sometimes. Emotions are good as data points, but let’s not get too caught up in our emotions, especially negative or pessimistic ones.
Meaning and happiness can be so complex…yet so simple. Mainly because meaning and happiness are things that become very clear once we pay attention to it instead of following or comparing with others (the Joneses’ Fallacy). There is a happiness trap: Everyone’s meaning and happiness are different –
- for some, they may want to earn $300K/year,
- for another, for them happiness could mean earning $47K/year working 9-5 and being with their kids every school event
- for another it could mean dedicating their lives to a social cause
The key is to know oneself…and the easiest is to start off is to start removing things that makes one unhappy. Read more in the article happiness trap.
Entrepreneurship, Marketing, Leadership, Cashflow & Impact
Entrepreneurship and Business is my conclusion to accelerating my life in all areas, be it to:
- Earn more: businesses have no income ceiling plus I can scale them as much or little as I wish…and invest surplus into business and passive income assets.
- Delegate to focus more on stuff I am good at, enjoy as well as passive income once they become well-oiled machines.
- Serve and grow in leadership.
- Create jobs and communities I enjoy.
- Progress and impact where it’s meaningful
- Meet people, learn new things and serendipity.
Entrepreneurship is something that is so fun for me and checks off so many things for me =)
I knew that I wasn’t cut out to be an employee, because I can’t stand office politics and clueless idiots in management and leadership. From young, I thought of ways to earn income and I worked a lot during school breaks. And I know business is for me because I feel damn happy creating a positive, happy and meaningful work place (and jobs) for others, whilst making profits for myself and my family. Entrepreneurship is one of the toughest way to personal growth as well with so much moving parts and complexities, and it definitely NOT for everyone. But for those who are like me and are hungry, this is my domain.
Leadership is close to my heart, and it seems that I have some knack for it (I think it’s got something with me having lots of heart and compassion for people) as I built and sold one business, and doing it again from scratch with equal and improved leadership results (ie happy, profitable followers). To me, leadership is fairly “easy” – as a leader, I lead people from the front and to a better place from where they are now with me. I help them engage with our mutual vision and grow together, serving each other as we grow and progress; and I place/raise up other leaders to help me along the way to increase productivity. I am very, very focused on good culture, and cull out toxic individuals who do not belong with us (of course we will coach and give chance whenever it makes sense).
Marketing is the communication of what we (the business) can do to help solve problems faced by the customers, and it applies to all businesses and customers. If you don’t market, your future and current customers may not be aware of what you can help them with.
Habits, Performance & Productivity
Ever heard of 80/20 rule?
100 moves/decisions/actions, 20% of that (ie 20) will lead to 80% of the outcomes. It’s identifying the best processes for the best outcomes, culling out unnecessary wasted moves and processes, a constant state of improvement.
Imagine if every move you make or take leads to 80% or more outcomes – how effective and efficient can you be and what kinds of results will you get? This is the high performance approach to life.
Fun thought: if 20% of what we do gives 80% of outcomes we want, technically we can “spend only 60%” of our conscious time and life resulting in 240% outcomes across 3 different focuses in our lives…which is an overachievement if you ask me.
Health, Energy & Vitality
Take care of our physical, mental and emotional health. This includes balanced
- resting and sleeping
- exercise and working out
- reading and meditating
You need to find out your ratio and frequency that makes the sweet spot for you.
- Some needs / likes to rest more.
- Some needs / likes to hug and touch more.
- Some needs / likes to meet more people.
- Some needs / likes to workout more.
Integrity, Gratitude, Resilience, Compassion, Simplicity, Courage, Patience, Peaceful, Good, Gentle, Self Control, Faith & Love
Ah this is a big one – these are all the values that I believe is important to include in our pursuit of growth, success, money, love – everything. Every one of them is important:
- Self Control
I am a Christian, and God and Christ is real to me. Read more about them here.
Love, Relationships, Kinships & Home
Curiousity, Play, Rest, Fun, Serendipity & Adventuring
I’m a naturally curious person, and I often wonder “what if…”, “how about…” and “where does that lead or go”…and I like it. I’m curious about the world that God made, about God and all the way things work and how they come from.
Intro Videos To Growth, Meaning & Self Actualization
- The Big Picture Of Self-Actualization
- How To Get Started With Self-Actualization
- A Vision For The Self-Actualized Life
- Becoming A Modern Philospher-Sage
Foundational Videos To Watch
These videos lay out the basic principles for how to self-actualize.
They focus not on quick-fixes but helping you develop a deep understanding of your problems. You don’t have to watch them in order. Use your intuition and wisdom to determine which videos to watch first.
- Low Quality vs High Quality Consciousness
- Question Everything: Thinking About Thinking
- Fake Growth vs Real Growth
- Balancing Theory vs Practice
- The 3 Levels Of Personal Development Work
- How To Deal With Confusion
- Using Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs To Self-Actualize
- Understanding Awareness
- Awareness Alone Is Curative
- How To Deal With Strong Negative Emotions
- Overcoming Addiction
- Lifestyle Minimalism
- One Simple Rule For Acing Life
- Being Patient
- The Grand Model Of Psychological Evolution
- 30 Ways Society Fucks You In The Ass
- The Happiness Spectrum
- What Is Happiness?
- The Happiness Trap
- Paradoxes Of Personal Development
- The Role Of Balance In Personal Development
- The Ultimate Model Of Human Knowledge
- Understanding How Paradigms Work
- True vs False Skepticism
- How To Be A Strategic Motherfucker
- How To Get Shit Done
- How To Unleash Your Ambition
- How To Stop Being A Victim – Part 1
- How To Stop Being A Victim – Part 2
- Understanding Responsibility versus Blame
- How Your Mind Distorts Reality
- Grasping The Illusory Nature Of Thought
- Radical Open-mindedness
- Spiritual Enlightenment Intro
- Spiritual Enlightenment – Part 2
- Spiritual Enlightenment – Part 3
- How To Become Enlightened
- The Enlightened Self
- Enlightenment Guided Inquiry
- Becoming A Zen Devil
- Mystical Traditions Around The World
- All Of Religion Explained In One Video
- Why People Seem Crazy
- Mindfulness Meditation
- Meditation Techniques: Do Nothing
- Concentration vs Meditation
- Meditation On Steroids
- The Highest Hero’s Journey
- How To Develop Big Picture Understanding
- How You Lie
- 10 Important Things You Don’t Know You Want
- Intro To Systems Thinking
- How To Deal With Loneliness
- Understanding Default Position
- Build Your Infrastructure For Success
- A Rant Against Naive Realism
- How To Control Anger – Part 2
- The Mechanics Of Belief
- The Dark Side Of Meditation
- How To Develop An Interest In Truth
- What’s Wrong With Ego
- You’re Not Happy Because You Don’t Really Want To Be
- A Rant Against Morality
- How To Stop Moralizing
- The Power Of Self-Acceptance
- Why Rationality Is Wrong
- Free Will vs Determinism
- 40 Signs That You Are Neurotic
- Contemplating Your Own Death
- Masculinity vs Femininity
- Lower vs Higher Self
- Science vs Religion
- How To Be A Leader
- Understanding Emotions – Part 1
- What Is Karma?
- How To Stop Backsliding
- How To Stop Being Lazy
- Understanding The Authentic Self
- How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You
- How To Master Your Emotions
- Advice For High School And College Students
- Increase Your Results From Self Help Products By 10x
- How To Use Psychedelics For Personal Development
Core Concepts To Research And Understand
Many of these concepts are discussed throughout all my videos. Many of them are recurring themes, which need to be understood from different angles. You will need to study all of these deeply if you want to understand how to significantly transform yourself.
- Mastery, 10,000 Hour Rule, Deliberate Practice, Deep Work, Self-Discipline creates freedom
- Enlightenment, Spirituality, Nonduality, Mysticism, Mindfulness
- Being vs Doing vs Having
- Spiritual Purification
- Enlightenment Traps
- Radical Openmindedness
- Beliefs vs Direct Experience
- Epistemology, Paradigms, Web of Beliefs, Dogma
- Spiral Dynamics, Clare Graves
- Systems Thinking
- Consciousness, Awareness
- Meditation vs Concentration vs Contemplation vs Self-Inquiry
- Embracing Paradox
- Loving Kindness
- Life Purpose, Hero’s Journey
- Negative vs Positive Motivation
- Emotional Labor
- Patience, Setting Right Expectations
- Nutrition, Exercise, Fasting
- Breathing Techniques
- Morality, Good vs Evil, Projection
- Religion vs Science, False Skepticism, Limits of Rationality, Limits of Logic, Limits of Science
- Mystical Traditions: Zen, Tantra, Advaita Vedanta, Buddhism, Yoga, Hinduism, Sufism, Kabbalah, shamanism, etc.
- Meditation Techniques: Mindfulness Meditation with Labeling, Do Nothing, Focus On Breath, Mantra Meditation, etc.
- Self-Actualization as described by Maslow
- Neuroticism, Victim Mindset
- Judgment, Moralization
- True Happiness vs False Happiness, Distinguishing Success vs Growth
- Gross vs Subtle
- Culture, Marketing, Society
- Overcoming Addictions, Hard Addictions, Soft Addictions
- What are thoughts, what is thinking, what are symbols, the map is not the territory
- What Is God?, Absolute Truth vs Relative Truth, True Self vs Ego
- Importance of Balance
- Balancing Theory vs Practice
- Psychedelics, and How To Use Them Properly
- Shadow Work
- Goal Setting, Productivity, Habits
- Morning Routine
- How To Be Creative
- Lying, Manipulation, Self-Bias
- Authentic Communication and Relationships
- Distraction, Ego Backlashes, Backsliding, Dark Night of the Soul, Resistance, Self-Sabotage, The Dark Side of Meditation
- Kinds of Emotions, that emotions are self-manipulations
- Depression, Anger, Sadness, Loneliness, Fear
- Ego Traps, Turning Inward vs Turning Outward
- Taking Responsibility vs Blaming, Victim Mentality
- Health vs Unhealthy Suffering
- Being A Leader
- Honesty, Authenticity
- Unconditional Love
- Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind
- Personality Types: Big 5 Aspects, Myers-Briggs, etc.
- Masculine vs Feminine Psychology
Core Practices & Techniques To Start Doing
Use the following methods to implement the abstract concepts from above. You don’t need to use them all. Pick and choose whatever suits you. Some of these techniques are very deep, requiring research and years of training.
- Daily Reading / Audio books
- Mindfulness Meditation With Labeling
- Holotropic Breathwork
- Concentration Practice
- Spiritual Autolysis
- Vegetarian/Vegan/Plant-based whole food diet
- Clean Up Diet: sugar, processes foods, all wheat products, all dairy products, meat, etc.
- Comprehensive Bloodwork: check your thyroid, liver, lipids, hormones, vitamin levels, etc.
- Mantra Meditation
- Taking Notes, Keeping A Commonplace Book
- Solo Retreats
- Find Your Life Purpose
- 4 hours Zone of Genius work every day
- Doing Self-Help Courses
- Attending Workshops & Seminars
- Vipassana Retreats
- Enlightenment Intensives
- Researching self-help products, seminars, books, retreats, courses, techniques
- Quit Toxic Relationships
- Psychedelics: Mushrooms, LSD, DMT, 5-MeO, 2C-B, Ayahausca, etc.
- Shadow Work
- Lucid Dreaming
- Astral Projection
- Life Coaching
- Nathaniel Branden’s Self-Esteem Sentence Completions
- Physical Exercise: Gym, Weight lifting, Cardio, etc.
- Conscious Body Relaxation
- Conscious Breathing
- Quit Hard Addictions: Junk food, drugs, alcohol, coffee, smoking, porn, video games, etc.
- Quit Soft Addictions: Theorizing, judging, success, being loved, perfectionism, being right, etc.
- Clean Up Information In-take: TV, phone, internet, YT, Facebook, politics, gossip, music, etc.
- Being Out In Nature
- Socializing, Pickup
- Minimizing Your Lifestyle
- Cleaning/Organizing Your Clutter
- Contemplating Your Death
- Sitting And Strategizing About Your Future, Making Plans
- Strong Morning Routine
- Mindful Eating
- Walking Meditation
- Binaural Beats
- Neurofeedback Brain Training
- Heart Rate Variability (HRV) Training
- Light Machine
- Isolation Tank
- Sedona Method
- Seeking Out Masterful Teachers
- Public Speaking, Toastmasters
Most Important Habits And Routines To Build
These habits produce high-yield results, although not immediately. They take time to snowball, but once they do, life becomes much better. Always install 1 habit at a time.
- Daily Meditation (especially strict mindfulness with labeling)
- Daily Reading / Audio Books
- Strong Morning Routine
- Very Clean Plant-Based Diet
- Daily Self-Inquiry
- Daily Journaling
- Taking Notes, Commonplace Book
- Eliminating Hard Addictions
- Eliminating Soft Addictions
- Daily Concentration Practice
- Psychedelics (done for spiritual growth, not recreationally)
- Attending Retreats/Workshops
- Doing Self-Help Courses
- Finding Your Life Purpose
- Sitting And Strategizing About Your Future, Making Plans
- Shadow Work
Biggest Traps Of This Life, Mind and The World aka The Works
There are 100’s of traps in this work. Your mind will be your greatest enemy. Here are the most common traps people fall into:
- Chasing quick-fixes. Not wanting to explore issues deeply or solve problems at their root.
- Not taking ownership of your life. Hoping for someone to give you a 1-2-3 step formula for success & happiness.
- Trying to be like someone else rather than working to discover YOUR authentic self.
- Chasing ideals and ideas of goodness.
- Feeling like it’s too late, I’m too old to change, I’ve wasted so much time.
- Staying loyal to toxic friends/family who are holding you back.
- Not reading, not learning, not doing enough research.
- Expecting this work to be easy and pleasant.
- Learning from too few perspectives, thus getting an incomplete picture, not having enough options.
- Judging, moralizing, criticizing, debating, arguing, blaming.
- Asking for “scientific proof”, as if someone can prove quality-of-life improvements to you.
- Being so skeptical of everything that you don’t put the theory into practice.
- Speculating about and conceptualizing enlightenment, mystical experiences, and spiritual growth.
- Clinging to a naive realist paradigm, believing that reality is physical, logical, and Newtonian.
- Assuming that modern science has figured out most of reality.
- Underestimating the massive negative effects of mainstream culture, diet, media, entertainment, beliefs, etc.
- Not understanding how happiness really works. Thinking that external conditions or possessions produce happiness. Chasing gross material pleasures.
- Confusing success with happiness or true growth.
- Assuming that successful people, like your favorite role-models, celebrities, professors, CEOs, etc are happy.
- Not recognizing that mystical experiences are real and possible for you to have.
- Becoming ideological about anything whatsoever (theory, techniques, science, logic, politics, etc), not realizing that all human perspectives are partial.
- Confusing Truth with knowledge/belief
- Assuming that reality is rational, mistaking scientific maps and models for being.
- Working a job/career just for the money.
- Being stuck in wage slavery, working a 9-5 job, not having control of your schedule.
- Eating the Standard American Diet of wheat, dairy, sugar, meat, and processed foods.
- Assuming that personal development is all mental work, not doing any development or purification of your body.
- Consuming mainstream media. Not realizing how toxic modern media and entertainment is.
- Not taking full responsibility for your life
- Whining and complaining about how your situation is unfair and impossible to change.
- Not valuing or pursuing truth for its own sake. Treating truth as a luxury.
- Dismissing theory, philosophy, and beliefs as “merely” philosophy.
- Studying tons of theory without ever taking action. Improperly balancing your ratio of theory to practice. Mental masturbation.
- Keyboard-jockeying: over-conceptualizing, discussing, talking shit, and speculating but never embodying what is talked about.
- Having a short time horizon for all your goals, plans, and projects.
- Over-packing your schedule, leaving no time to sit, think, or meditate.
- Valuing and pursuing gross experiences vs subtle ones.
- Assuming that consciousness is a physical by-product of the brain.
- Assuming that you are physical body, or etherial soul.
- Projecting onto the teacher you’re learning from. Getting triggered by teachers. Holding grudges. Debating with them. Trying to school your teacher.
- Clinging to the idea of good and evil, not realizing that these are all your projections.
- Going on a crusade to save the world or vanquish evil. Getting overly focused on acting “good” in the external world vs working on your own inner demons.
- Assuming that if life is meaningless, that’s a bad thing.
- Setting unrealistic expectations. Being too impatience. Expecting big results to come quickly.
- Trying to change too much too fast. Lack of focus.
- Getting overwhelmed with all the options. Indecisiveness.
- Not taking action because, “I don’t know how.”
- Underestimating how much growth is possible. How much better your life can become.
- Assuming boundaries between objects are scientific, physically given.
- Distracting yourself from facing emptiness, negative emotions, loneliness, and ego backlashes.
- Misusing psychedelics: using them recreationally, using them socially, using them without proper research.
- Conceptually misunderstanding enlightenment
- Confusing enlightenment with a sensory experience or emotional state
- Trying to install too many new habits at once.
- Quitting meditation or self-inquiry when negative emotions or resistance surfaces.
- Not being decisive, thus maintaining the status quo by default.
- Not having a big vision for your life.
- Using negative motivation to get stuff done.
- Motivating yourself through competition with others, trying to “be the best”.
- Making your vision all about personal success and wealth rather than contributing to the world.
- Being too cheap, not investing in books, courses, workshops, etc. Undervaluing self-education.
- Chasing after love, success, pleasure, excitement, rather than pursuing Truth and understanding.
- Assuming you need certain physical conditions to be happy.
- Conflating knowledge acquisition with growth/development.
- Dismissing “new age” concepts like spirits, aliens, God, healing, love, etc.
- Demonizing psychedelics.
- Not taking massive action. Assuming that “things will just work out”. No they won’t!
- Not having a spiritual practice because you’ve been told there’s nothing to seek.
- Expecting people close to you to understand and support your efforts to grow.
- Trying in frustration to get everyone around you to change or become interested in personal development or spirituality.
- Not realizing or appreciating the incredible value of this work.
- Quitting when resistance kicks in.
- Quitting when emotional upheaval surfaces.
- Not getting back on track after backsliding or quitting. Beating yourself up for failures.
- Letting yourself get lulled back to sleep by our toxic and indifferent culture.
WHO Do I Write For / To?
Yes, 20-years old me.
I started off lost, pretty much like most person out there (I think), and I didn’t know how to answer the large questions in life, and I had to find out as I went along and got information, data, feedback and experience.
School of hard knocks and made lots of mistakes along the way.
Looking back, I would happily paid much of my money and earnings to have a mentor to share and guide me when I was younger and lost.
Note to self: it seems that there are still lots of lost people out there, no matter their age or gender.
My kids, Olivia and David.
I started off the blog nigelchua.com to write for the younger me, and as I got more life experiences, thought more, went through more successes and failures, and ultimately, when I became a father – my goals leveled up.
Now, I also write for my kids, to provide a reference point for them to grow. Especially if something happened to me earlier than I wish. So yes, nigelchua.com is somewhat instructional love letter to my kids.
Kids Who Don’t Have Parents
Or parents who either don’t have the capacity to talk about such matters.
- Sometimes, some parents are present physically but absent mentally, emotionally.
- Some parents are absent some or most of the time. Maybe some may be in jail.
- Maybe some parents died early.
- Sometimes parents don’t think or teach or speak about such matters.
- Or some are too young and decided to give the children up.
These things happen.
BUT DON’T GIVE UP. I’m not giving up on you – we’re here now, aren’t we? =)
Then allow me speak to you, in love, as your pseudo-internet father.
For You, My Readers
For my readers, who have been with me since day 1 when nigelchua.com was born, thank you.
For those who reach out to connect with me, thank you.
It’s your reaching out, connecting and your stories and emails of how my writings and videos inspired, motivated and changed your life for the better that keeps me going and makes it all worthwhile.
I write this in case of when I’m gone, my kids and friends and readers may want to read what and how I think how this world works with both good things and bad things interacting like a massive piece of puzzle. For everyone else, I am more than happy to be called your internet pseudo-dad. I write this to you as well with my wish to guide and speak to you to build and live a better life.
So on this site, I openly and honestly share with you what’s worked for me (and what hasn’t worked) to make me successful in my own life, providing you with the best concepts, principles, and strategies for life mastery in my experience and perspective.
I realize that God has given me a big heart to love a lot, and to have a heart for many people and things.
It’s also sometimes interesting where I get so emotional where my eyes will well up with tears when I hear wonderful stories of people overcoming shit and unfairness and challenges.
And those who are hungry to breakthrough from where they’re stuck in life.
To Answer Questions Like “Dad, What Should I Do? What’s Right What’s Wrong?”
- What’s good or bad?
- What should I do?
- Where should I go?
- And many more
Sometimes things seem to be so…open-ended, for the lack of a better word.
Like, anything is possible and anything can happen.
Yeah that’s generally the case, but we need to discuss the framework of
- what makes a good life
- what makes a good person
- what makes a good decision
- etc etc
The reason being is because sometimes the world is so noisy, that it seems that the loudest, noisiest and sexiest person wins…really? Do you think that the most charismatic or personality person will win?
Perhaps, in the short term.
But character, especially good character, stands out magnificently. A sexy or loud asshole will also stand out of course, in a magnificent way too I guess.
The question is, what would you like to be known for?
Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
I still see the world is a fascinating place, and our lives as an adventure in
- discovering ourselves, our values, our strengths, our weaknesses
- discovering the pain and beauty of the world
- discovering the awesomeness of God and all His creation
When I was born, I was taken care of by my parents and family. For this, I am eternally grateful – no one physically in this world can replace the love my parents had for me. And I wish the same of you.
If you hadn’t have or had good parents (and not because you understand wrongly, but because they seem to be true assholes), then at least, give thanks for them for giving you life. As I wrote earlier, I will be more than happy to be your pseudo-internet father. I may not have met you before, but I care for you and I wish the best for you.
This is just the beginning of your best adventures of your life – just see.
Just being alive, being able to breathe air into your lungs, being able to see with your eyes, hear with your ears, move and touch with your hands and feet, to be able to stand, walk, dress and move about – if you can do these well, you’re off to a good start.
It’s what you do from here, this starting point on, that makes all the difference.
To Discuss Difficult, Open-ended & Important Topics
Stuff that needs to be discussed regularly by every parent and every individual today. Not just a once-off event, but as a regular conversation point.
Kinda like “the bird and bees” sort of conversations I guess.
To improve your life, it’s generally a 3-step process:
- foundational / fundamental values that you (want) to believe in and stand for
- deciding / making decisions on how to manage certain situations when you come across it or to set your habits and routines
- process of the doing based on the decision that you made which is based on the foundational values as mentioned above
I try to cover these 3 processes throughout nigelchua.com.
Once you know what you know and know where you want to go and what you want to stand for, it makes it easy for you to decide
- when you want to achieve a certain something in life
- when you’re lost or confused – come here to get some insight or focus or ask me a question
- when shit happens (and we know shit will happen at some point…sometimes it’s a shitstorm) – but hang on tight and ride through it
And that’s what this me and my blog here is about – to cover the important stuff that we need to talk about more in society.
These are my observations and life lessons which I learn over the course of my life, and I will refine them as I go along and experience more. Read whichever suits you in this season of your life, and apply.
To Get You To Choose Yourself
You have to root for yourself, and take actions to move in the direction where you want to go and to become who you want to. No one can force you, not me not anyone.
I hope you choose yourself and experience more epiphanies and serendipities…and more importantly, to get unstuck, to progress and to not waste time.
If we do not plan our goals and take consistent actions to take us where we want to go, other people will plan for us and use us to take them to where they want to go.
To Let You Know That Someone Cares For You
I do. I care and I believe in you.
It’s weird, as I type this, I’m getting emotional and the nice kind of fuzzy feeling. I really care for you and I want the best for you. I may not know you in person (yet) but I care for you and I wish the best for you.
Do not give up, as it’s just the beginning of a wonderful adventure and journey in life. I’m rooting for you. I’m with you. God too is with you every step of the way.
Remember, growth and progress takes consistent effort and attention, over a period of time.
Everyone and anyone you know who is successful today and yesterday did not becomes successful by dabbling. Think of successful people such as Tony Robbins, Ray Dalio, Bruce Lee, the famous Beatles, Warren Buffett.
Every. Single. Success. Story. Is. The. Same.
They all took time to hone and refine their craft mastery.
Don’t underestimate what, where and who you’d turn out to be after 3, 5, 10+ years.
Remember, the most lasting legends and legacies all take time to master themselves and their art and contribution – this means that you need to put in the consistent work in to get to where and who you want to become.
Go. For. It.
And then tell me bout your adventures, your ups and downs – I want to hear all about it. I’m just a message or email away.
PS: If you simply love something I wrote or shared, do consider to pay it forward and share it among your friends, family and colleagues or supporting my mission. I want to improve as many lives as I can, and that’s the best way for you to support that mission. Thank you so much for your support.
Where To Next?
- If you’re new here, do subscribe to my newsletter – no spam and just my best stuff. Unsubscribe anytime.
- Go to the Start Here it’s created to be my good success and life thesis, so it’s very content heavy (Read: lots of words and links to resources, write ups and videos). It’s constantly updated too with new data and updates as often as I can.
- If you like videos, head to All Videos – all the latest (and all) videos are uploaded there.
- Visit the Blog to read the latest articles and videos. You can see all / my entire list of previous articles here: Archive
- Head over my Resources page to see the curated products and services I use / have used to improve different aspects of my life be it business, relationships, health and more. Note: recommendations in nigelchua.com may be affiliate links, which means I may get paid if you choose to buy through my affiliate link.
- If you’d like to ask me any questions, head to the Questions/Ask Nigel section
- Contact me if you like to thank me for helping you in some way (please, always tell me – it’s such emails that I truly look forward to), interview me, ask me to try a product, or media inquiries.
- If you like my work and want to support me / my cause by giving a tip / donation or choose to buy stuff at my products and tool page – thank you for your support. You keep me going.