When Should I Quit My Job To Start A Business?

A number of friends and families ask me, and often they may have this idea that “i’m gonna quit my job now, fire my boss and start my business tomorrow – go big or go home right?


No, let’s talk about this.

I dont recommend rushing things and going full entrepreneurship at least at the beginning, because it does take time to take traction and build sustainable revenue. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE entrepreneurship (I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2008), but we can do things in a more calculated staged manner.

Let’s explore the next 3 points to find out if you’re ready to pull the plug:

Your reasons to start a business is strong and convicting.

The reason I say this is because business isn’t always smooth sailing – there will be difficult clients and seasons, and your convictions are what will keep you going. Find out why and who is it for.

Maybe you actually like your job and you actually want a pay increment, speak to your boss and ask how to get that increment. Ask and find out the exact steps you need to get to the increment and promotion you want, and invest the extra income for dividends.

If you want more passive income, you can save more (and negotiate a higher salary) and invest into stable dividend stocks for cashflow.

Do you have enough savings for 6-12 months of expenses?

Especially so when you have dependents / commitments such as kids or mortgages / rent etc – having life expenses sorted out so you can focus on business and entrepreneurship will give you the ability to focus and enjoy the journey.

Most of the time, if you’re waaaaay low on money, you could start to become very desperate and make less-than-ideal business decisions.

Squeeze down all your unnecessary expenses you can to give your business more chance to succeed.

Consider freelance on the side (start a side hustle) first

On weekends and after office hours, and once your side hustle is making at least 50% of your day job, then you can choose to quit then or keep both (ehehe)

So when should you quit your job?

Depends on your savings, if you can do side hustle or if you’re the sort to need to throw yourself headfirst into business.

Listen more in the video.

How To Get Your First Paying Client

Getting your first client who wants to try and pay for your services is a super big thing because it proves that someone is willing to pay for your service and it takes you one step closer to your business dreams

Most of the time, what scares people on doing this is because its so new: getting a new client is one thing, getting them to pay you is another.

In these cases as I share, I’m gonna assume you already know what you’re doing eg I’m a hand therapist and I’m licensed and experienced, I dont need to be supervised.

If you’re picking up something entirely new, it will make sense for you to go for courses, certificates, internship and hands-on job training first to build up skill and experience if you hadnt.

If you just got your cert and are totally new, you may consider working for someone or a company first for a while to get some experience, for free as an unpaid intern for a short time if you need to because experience really really matters to produce good outcomes.

It’s a 3-step process for me:

Step #1 Craft & Package

What are the basic service packages you want to offer?

2 or 3 packages at most.

Have an idea about what type of clients you want to work with. For me, my example is in physical therapy, specificly patients who has pain and injury to their physical body. So when i communicate, it’s very clear, i’m speaking to clients who has back pain, neck pain, hand pain etc

If you’re a massage therapist you may be offering 30, 60 or 90 minute sessions.

etc etc

Its important to get as clear as possible about this and what you’re planning on including so that you’re not customizing things for every client:

  1. saves you and them time AND
  2. it’s muuuuuch easier for them to make a buying decision when it’s clear what you solve for them

Clear and well communicated packages make you look more professional too

Step #2: Softlaunch Offer – Get Appropriate Beta Testers

Once you’ve got your packages ready, next, you got to make an offer, and a gentle way to ease yourself into sales is by doing soft launches.

You can also call it getting beta testers who will get a special price before you launch it to the full public and full price.

For example

  1. if you’re a web designer and you’re new, you can consider providing 3-5 free websites and hosting is extra X dollars a month; or
  2. if you’re a massage therapist you can offer a trial 30-minute session for purely new clients who had never experienced your massage before etc.

How to position this is to

  • set a fix number of beta testers you want (not more than 5)
  • set a fix price (discount forever or free for X amount of time)
  • make the offer

An example is to make an offer like this on your social media channels, messaging systems like WhatsApp, saying

I’m going to work with 3-5 people at this price point before I put the price up to the full price, and I would love for you to be one of them

What will happen is

  1. you will get some (or lots of) rejections or ignores
  2. some inquiries which turn to nothing
  3. some inquiries that will take your offer
  4. some inquiries that will miss your soft launch offer and become full private paying clients

Step #3: Ask For Referrals

All businesses need new clients on an ongoing basis, so don’t stop at beta testing once and done.

Continue to refine your sales process, and one of the simpler approaches to increase your client base is to ask for referrals from your existing clients. They’re already getting serviced by you, so I ask them directly to consider referring someone they know who will benefit from my services.

It can be a simple text, email or chat:

Do you know someone who may benefit from my services? Please refer them and I will do my utmost to take good care of them.

Chances are if they’re happy with your services, 10%+ of the time, they will refer their friends, colleagues and family to you.

Once you get your first client, it’d be a big confidence boost, and then you can go on to get your second, third, fifth, tenth, hundredth client and on and on. Remember, you got business dreams, you want to make a full time income and to make that happen, you have to start with the first person.

Happy New Year 2022 and Reviewing 2021

Whew, 2021 sure flew on by just like that – so quick.

COVID has definitely made a lot of things different, and though I stilllllllll dislike the mask (cos of the humidity in Singapore), but i noticed that i fall sick much lesser ever since ive been wearing mask outdoor.

Reviewing Back in 2021 and Hope for 2022

2021 was interesting, with much changes in my businesses, investments, relationships and practices.

Phoenix Rehab

For my core business, which is phoenixrehabgroup.com, we went GST-registered after hitting SGD $1M in annual turnover in 2021, and we embraced the transition for this fairly well.

We’re also growing the business (this year aiming to grow >50%) with more delegation, hiring and automation in place, and it remains to be my core business. Much to do and more in store (sorry cant talk so much about this business in detail because of investors / shareholders / etc)


nigelchua.com (this site) also had some interesting changes: I hired a mentor to guide me to grow it.

We started off with hand injuries and hand therapy stuff, but because I dont really practice as a clinician anymore, i dont resonate with that topic, and instead, i pivoted to write and share more about what that makes me happy:

  • entrepreneurship & small business
  • cashflow
  • leadership
  • growth

Learning to share the videos on reddit itself has so many lessons too, and learning to deal with clowns and troll redditors has it ups and downs, but overall, i am happy to continue learning and applying.

One of the benefits that makes me happy is also the videos that i leave behind in the case when i pass on (earlier or later than thought), there is an option for my kids and descendants to access to me somewhat, for the future.

Another Side Project

I have another side project which i’d been putting aside for some time now, but it’s up our alley of physiotherapy, hand therapy as well as health and physio equipment and products.

I will be relooking at my time, energy and ability to project manage my core business and two side ones if i decide to do it =p


There was a number of health scares this year, with regards to me.

  • I had an incident of bad reaction to gruyere cheese and i got hospitalized for that (eyes swollen and some difficulty breathing.
  • Then there was the case of organ issues which had to be checked too – all cleared
  • I stopped all my supplements because of the uncertainties =(

Good news is that my organs are very very healthy! Hehe!

I started going back to the gym in 2021, averaging 2X per week in lifting, and goal for 2022 is to continue hitting the gym at least 2X per week, and adding one more session of cardio a week to improve my cardio-pulmonary stamina and endurance.

Perhaps pickup health supplements again too =)


2021 was an interesting year investing-wise namely:

  • Walton land-banking, which we invested since early 2010-ish, finally we got some of the projects that have been bought out commercially, and from 2.3 projects, we’re ahead at least 30% ROI-wise
  • Testing out a wealth management company with a nominal amount, to see how they and the invested amounts go. If they’re good, i will be sinking more funds here. The goal for this is for me to be hands-off with wealth management once i launch our family fund which needs to be self-perpetuate
  • Liquidated portion (took profits) of some cryptocurrency portfolio into a staked portfolio, generating a healthy double digit for me which is nice for DCA (dollar cost averaging) and paying for some lifestyle (it isn’t enough to retire on)

Goal for 2022:

  • solidify the vehicle for the self-perpetuating trust fund and how the fund will be managed
  • explore insurance to expand the amount upon death
  • launching the fund
  • sell our HDB and purchase our forever home (still looking out)
  • accumulate more BTC and ETH: HODL forever!


I will carve out more time to spend with people and relationships, my kids, spouse, family, close friends and God. 2021 i didnt spend as much time with God as i would like.

What To Do When You’re At Your Lowest

Entrepreneurship isn’t always fun and profits (i wish). Sometimes, you’d hit a low or hard time, where you’re blamed for something that you didn’t do and cannot fix. Here’s 2 personal tips i learnt that kept me sane and pushing to breakthrough.

I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2008 and I am fortunate to only have had a handful of brutal business experiences that really hurt.

One particular event that was really hard, with 2 different parties that went out of their way to spread lies and hurt us professionally and personally. At the same time.

Those kind of blows, I feel that we entrepreneurs can take without batting eyelids (is it just me???) but what really stung was when our work friends and colleagues cutting contact and disappearing on us.

Messages were slowly replied and gradually no replies – we were ghosted.

One of them even said to my face they dont want the hassle to be associated with us and the challenges i was going through.

Lol i didnt even ask them for money….sigggggggggh.

M, those words really hurt.

When we help them make money, it’s all fine and dandy, but at the first hint of trouble, they’re gone. Poof.

Really convenient peeps.

These are the same people who i know and even their kids as we had group celebrations and events. It felt like the relationship i thought we had, was all a lie.

I can take lies and blows and cheap shots, but boy, that “looking away and cutting contact” thing? Stings.

Anyway, as promised, if you’re at a bad place right now in your business and you’re getting blamed for shit you didnt do, here are the 2 personal lessons i learnt:

  1. Capitulate and dont waste time arguing.

    I decided to ignore sunk costs, what the lies are and who said what shit – i just put my blinders on and set out to work and get back on track (or keep going). Plus, be aware that some people are liars and some like drama so im not going to feed that or waste time that i can use getting back on track.

  2. Reframe negative events.

    I was sad and frustrated and yes, i did cry a few times, but eventually realized that starting over wasnt bad – i had the experience, the skillset, the knowhow, and i get to do over without clowns this time. Not a bad reframe.



If you enjoyed this, watch the video with more 3 more personal lessons from breaking through my lowest moments in business.

Focus On Fixing The Problem Or Process, Not Blaming The Person

Since 2010, i mandated a ‘blame & fix processes only’ (ie dont blame people for mistakes) and this has helped improve productivity and revenue. I think its because it made people feel safe(r) to learn from mistakes and spend more time on actual business activities. Here’s what i learnt.

I have an employee who is so fearful whenever she makes a mistakethat she would either avoid answering or try to cover it up. I would ask her “what happened here?” or “this doesnt add up” whenever she lies to cover her tracks

and the funny thing is, the more she is fearful about making mistakes, the more mistakes she makes because she’s trying to avoid mistakes.

In fact, it took me more than 30-40 conversations with me telling her im okay with mistakes, just fix the process and the issues. Finally one day, the breakthrough came.

She started to realize that I am NOT baiting her or putting traps out to catch…and after a few weeks, when we found an error, she told “sorry i missed it”

And i said, okay, just fix it and we’ll look at the processes to help improve productivity and prevent errors

She was surprised when i said and did that.

I reassured her that i mean what i say, and say what i mean. She shared that in her previous employments, she had been terribly terribly scolded. So that’s why she tries to avoid and hide it now. Basically she is saying “she’s afraid of making mistakes” and it’s very clear to me.

i totally get it, i’ve seen such environments before and it’s not a productive working environment because people are spending energy, effort and time to NOT make mistakes and when they make mistakes they’re spending more time to hide it or throw someone else under the business who will then defend themselves

Do you see this ridiculous waste of time?

If you ever catch yourself or someone doing this, be direct with them and own your mistakes. Learn from them and move on.

Owning a mistake takes less than a minute, which you can then go on to do more productive things, rather than worry and be fearful.

Thats why i prefer to focus on fixing the processes, and creating a process-driven culture, when the process is right, the outcomes will be right.


Bonus story: this can be applied to any goals you want too, rather than work mistakes

An example, i personally know people who said that THEY are not rich because their parents didnt save money, invest or have a business.

So i know these people want to be rich. Funny thing is that i dont see them going out to learn how to earn more or invest more – the last 10 years i know them, they’re still going on how their parents didnt leave a lump sum of money for them…

Fix the process.

With this example, if one wants to have more money, then you have to study how to have more money. It may include learning a new high paying skill, starting a business, investing etc etc

How to stand out from your competition in your industry

We decided to only serve clients based on what we do well. Clients who wanted something we cant do, we refer them out (even to competitors) because it’s just good for clients. Surprisingly, “rejected” clients loved this and started to refer more people to us. It’s simple but it works well for us:

There are many people in my industry or in any industries who talk relationships but frankly it’s really bullshit – many of them just want to make your sale, make the transaction and move on – they pretend that they care about you and the relationship when the reality is that all they want is the sale and its done

A personal story that happened to me, in physical therapy, so we serve orthopedic surgeons. There was a particular surgeon who was engaged by a prior therapist who was with us and who had left.

So there was this surgeon texted me and he was very nice, very charming, courteous saying that he had sent me a number of clients and he expects “some love back” if not he wont refer anymore.

I thanked him and told him that all his patients are served with good care and that we will do our best to send him, we have placed his profile on our website so that he can get more leads, but most of our cases are actually referred in by other orthopedic doctors and we cant send those to him

He stopped referring, and frankly I was happy to not work with him anymore

You see he contacted me

  • not because he cared about me
  • not because he cared us
  • not because he cared the patients of his we that served well
  • not because he cared or the business or the relationship

That wasnt important at all to him – I realized we were just a number on his spreadsheet, and it’s not a good thing. Clients and patients aren’t just numbers on spreadsheet, they’re people i care about a lot, and hence the philosophy has diverged a lot between mine and his.

If you actually care about building relationship then actually build relationships.

I remember when i first started out in private practice, it was important for me to be honest and consistent so when clients (both doctors and patients) came up to me and tell me they wanted me to do these A, B, C, D and E.

I would tell them I’ll do A and B as I am good with those, proficient in C but for D and E I’m not good at all they should see so-and-so for that who’s really good with that and I’ll be happy to partner with them.

This is a standard practice – we turn away and refer clients who dont need our services to people who can serve them better, even if they are our competitors.

The reason is because it’s the honest truth plus it’s good for the clients.

I dont want to hoard patients just so i can make money from them especially when i’m not proficient in what they need – my clients are people who trust me and im not going to betray their trust.

This philosophy has revolutionalized my life and my business.

It made clients want to do business with me and my brands even more. I think my clients like my approach because they dont have to second guess with me, I’m not posturing or inflating myself. They know what i was good at and what i can deliver.

Honesty just makes work and life so much easier and frictionless.

And we’ve all had that experience – where you wanna hire someone and they go “eh i’m not good with that, i’m good with this, here, you contact this person for what you need”

Let me share with you personal story – it happened to me recently, i’m looking for a place to rent because we need to move nearer to a school to get my son into the primary / junior school there.

And we have someone we know as a friend, who’s a real estate agent and we asked her to help us search for one that suits our needs and price. She said okay, and set out to search and will give us updates regularly.

A couple days later, she told me, Nigel, i give you a few contacts, and you contact the agents directly. Seems as though the market is hot and the landlord’s agent dont want to share with me.

What she is saying is that she is willing to forgo her commission but will continue help us look for a property to rent that suits our needs and budget.

What do you think that made me feel?

I feel that i can trust her even more to watch out for my interest, and all i want to do is for her to work with me and help me sort out my other property to rent out or to sell.

I know that she’s looking out for me.

And that’s what builds a relationship. Honesty and sincerity.

You know, honesty is such a hard thing to get especially in a transactional or numbers business. It’s so easy for people to just become a number in the spreadsheet.

And when you actually find an honest business, all you want to do is to help them build their business even though you may never work with them directly.

A lot of business owners who are short termed cant get this because it seems that honesty may seem to slow down your business in the short term, but if you are willing to be patient and consistent, you will build a raving fan base who love you and would refer their friends and family to you

They trust because you are honest first.

What to do when you feel like you want to give up

When my 3rd landlord played me of rental contract AFTER i built my clients, I was frustrated, tired and ready to quit. Fuck, I even cried myself to sleep. I refused to give up, restarted for the 4th time in 2011, and it finally worked. 6-figures, then 7 then acquired. Here’s a tip on not giving up.

The quick scoop on bad landlord experiences during my early start up days:

  • Landlord 1 (2009): didnt tell us they had termite infestation. found out termite activity AFTER renovation and business launched, with clients. Had to close shop because it was risky for us (2nd floor that was wooden was starting to SINK) and clients. Lost most of what little life savings we had there.

  • Landlord 2 (2010): joined a group practice where CEO brought us in with and promised to help with marketing and group support. Fuck, his team didnt support us at all. We did all our own sales and marketing, billing and even had to hire our own receptionist at our own expense. To make it worse, the fucking finance gave us a lot of grief by withholding the revenue we generated by our own sales and marketing for at least 3+ months every month…on top of paying them rent out of our pocket. Basket.

  • Landlord 3 (2011): a surgeon who rented me a space where i built a client load and kept delaying the contract. I thought because landlord was a respected surgeon there may not be funny business, but boy was i so wrong. he kicked me out because he found someone willing to pay more so i had a weekend to move out. A WEEKEND.

I usually tell my family that i dont have to go to cinemas to watch movies or watch drama shows on cable/netflix because my life has so much real life excitement already anyway lol

Today I will be sharing with you on what to do when you feel like giving up and some of the things that i’ve learnt when ive gone through a lot of ups and downs in my business to get to where i am today

  1. Problems are everywhere and they’re really opportunities
  2. 99% of problems are solvable
  3. Learning Points
    • choosing the right important problems to solve
    • breaking through process as important as selected problems to breakthrough
    • breakthroughs never in a straight line
    • open to change methods
    • stay on track to the vision

Our lives will always have problems and to me problems mean that they’re actually opportunities to learn and earn

As an entrepreneur and leader, I solve many problems big and small:

  • competition
  • sales and marketing
  • operational issues
  • human resource where this person is unhappy etc
  • sabotage internally
  • i’ve workers who wants to earn more
  • i’ve clients who wants a problem and pain to be solved

Every single day.

And usually, the more difficult the problem, the higher value it usually is (eg $10 problems = $10 results; $1M problems = $1M income)

And because we all have limited time and energy, we have to choose which problems are the problems that’s most important first (choose higher value ones > less value ones)

This video is what i do with critical problems that are important and are potentially life-changing (good or bad). Critical problems are usually difficult, intense and can be prolonged – they’re not like “what we’re gonna have for dinner” kind of problems – I’m talking about problems that may change your life in a bad way if it’s not solved.

I’ve had so many of such problems and challenges in my life and career.

They can be brutal, and ive many moments where i just feel like giving up.

I know that no one will come to save me or help me, and that it seems like no matter what i do and ive done everything and nothing’s working…thats when i really really feel like quitting.

99% of problems are solvable

Let me share a quick personal story:

I started my physical therapy business in 2008 in as a foreigner, I had no friends, no family no network here that I could ask for help to get referrals, leads or sales or anything. My mum screamed at me to beg for my job back from a toxic environment. I had literally no support, other than my fiance who encouraged me. I had nothing, had bills to pay, but i started my entrepreneurship journey. Had so much challenges and people who cheated us, but we persisted, we pivoted, we learnt and applied and got better and better.

Made all the mistakes in the book but I remember starting my first business with $65 dollars to register my business, hustled to 7-figure acquisition and then some.

  • No network? Sure, I go network. I knock on doors, get rejected, do it again.
  • Don’t know how to run a business? Sure, i buy books and go for courses.
  • Don’t know how to get sales and leads? Okay, I go for course offline, buy books and test.
  • Do this for every problem that i come across.

Looking back, that’s how i come to conclude that 99% of all problems and goals are solvable.

Choose the right important problems to solve

Not all problems are equally important or valuable, you’ve got to decide which problems are important and do those first – this is very important.

If you choose the wrong problems in the first place, no matter how much effort, it’s not going to be that worth it.

An example, if you choose a career that will only pay you $10K/year and you want to earn $50K…the problem is already there.
If you want to build and grow a good business with good clients, then you got to say no to bad clients.

Choose the problems that bring you closer to your goals.

See it for what it is, and determine if this problem is it even worth your time and effort or not.

Breaking through process as important as selected problems to breakthrough

Usually when i am going through these painful and difficult moments, i only see and feel the problem, because it’s so overwhelming at times, until i breakthrough

But later when i look back, i realize that those are very powerful defining moments of learning and growth.

If you play role playing games, it’s kinda like leveling up – these leveling up moments define who you are and who you become.

These moments shape your character, and in a way, these moments determine your success.

Pushing through these difficult learning moments will train you to be persistent, determined, and the best word is developing tenacity and grit

These cannot be taught or found in a classroom or books.

This is a very important process that will be very valuable as an entrepreneur, character and leader

Breakthroughs never in a straight line + be open to change methods

“Nigel, ive done everything to overcome and solve this problem”

When i get told this, i usually will stop and ask them, have you really tried everything?

  • have you talked to enough people?
  • have you read all the books and blogs on this topic?
  • have you hired people to help you?
  • have you seeked mentoring?
  • have you seeked help?
  • Have you done everything you possibly could?
  • Have you taken all the actions you possibly could?

I’ll bet that no, not yet.

I know that if you have, you would have solved the problem and gotten the results you wanted.

It’s never an issue of lack of resources…it’s a matter of lack of resourcefulness.

  • sometimes it’s because we have been one track mind inside the box, and we need to think outside the box
  • most of the time, it’s because we got burnt out or weary, which usually happens within the last mile of the success, days from success.

It’s only when we persist and push through the problems that we can enjoy the breakthrough – that’s why it’s called a break-through. You break through the block and the problem right in front of you.

Sometimes the solution comes instantly, but for new or large problems, you need to take time to chip away at it.

Dont quit on your your goals, dreams and hopes.

But you can quit the methods. You can pivot the approach and change the process.

If this dont work, sure, try this.
If that dont work, okay, try that.
If that dont work, then why not that.
Repeat until you get to where you want to.

Stay on track to the vision

As i shared, everything is figureoutable. 99% of problems are solvable.

Success and results are never a straight line, there is a lots of zig-zags, up-downs, sometimes go round and round.

It’s never as simple as achieving success by going from point A to point B – if that’s the case, everyone will be successful.

But you know that not everyone will be successful, usually because they give up too early and or didnt have the tenacity to push through problems that stare at them in the face.

Choose to solve problems that bring you closer to your goals and dreams, and as long as you’re getting closer, you’re on track.

  • Dont give up when you have to zig and zag.
  • Dont give up through the downtimes.
  • Dont give up when you find yourself going in circles or blocked.

Remember, as long as you’re getting closer to where you want to be, you’re right on track.

You’re learning, applying, growing. You’re on track.

As long as you dont quit on your goals and you keep at it, you will get there.

What Drives You: How To Quickly Find Your Why

Imagine this – compare a person who starts a business to earn as much money as possible as compared to another person, who starts a business to create jobs that people love

How do you think the businesses will be different?

Another example, imagine someone who want to run a marathon, because they feel like it. Compared to another person who wants to run a marathon to bring awareness or raise funds to abolish a disease.

Can you see the difference?

Knowing your why is one of the most powerful things you can have.

Eastern philosophy shared that there are 3 powers:

  1. the sword (weapons, businesses, military strength),
  2. the jewel (which represents money and wealth)
  3. and the last was the mirror, which represents wisdom, insight and self knowledge

Of these 3, I believe the mirror is the most powerful. Because with wisdom, insight and self knowledge, I can trust myself. I can trust myself to learn, to progress, build businesses or secure jobs and earn more.

Conversely, without wisdom, insight or self awareness, i will be doomed to be controlled by money or power or fear or feelings.

A person with awareness of his or her mission will always be stronger than a person who doesnt have awareness of their mission.

Their whys get them up in the mornings, keep them going with meaning, hope and purpose and even keeps them up at night.

Today i’ve a quick sharing on how to quickly discover your purpose.

insights to have, it’s the sole reason and purpose that

  • gets you out of bed in the morning
  • keeps you up at night
  • keeps you going and having fun

Do not do this exercise with your family or spouse or kids – anyone that is too close with you.

Choose your few good and close friends, especially those you can call at 3 in the morning and you can trust them to answer the call.

And likewise those who you will answer their calls at 3 am. Schedule a call, or better still, a meetup (or over a couple of meetups) and you’re gonna make them very uncomfortable by asking them repeatedly:

  • What is it about me that makes you like me?
  • That makes you want to be there for me no matter what?

Don’t help or prompt them at all.

They will start by describing you, saying general stuff like you’re smart / funny / honest / you’ve been there for me / we know each other so long etc etc

Everytime they describe you generally, you’re to say – everyone does that, and re-ask the question: “What is it about me, that you like to hang out with me or be there for me no matter what?”

This cycle will continue and you dont prompt or help them at all – be patient and wait, and repeat.

What are you waiting or looking out for?

Eventually they will stop describing you, and they will stop to really pause and think, digging deep down.

They will start to describe themselves and what they feel when they’re with you. They will describe the value you put into their lives, and this will resonate with you emotionally, spiritually and mentally

You’d either get goosebumps, or you may tear and cry, or both.

This is the roughly the space and the range of where your why is. Once you do this with multiple friends, they will likely say similar things or exact same things. The more you do stuff that’s related to your why, the happier you’d get.

Your why is always consistent, and that’s the short exercise you can do over the next couple of weeks.

Let me know your results and your whys – i’d love to hear from you.

You need to protect your time and prioritize what’s important to you, rather than blindly following or haphazardly managing your time

I…used to be people pleaser – it was hard to say no because i wanted to be liked and popular but the more i said yes to people and things i dont care about, the unhappier and more lost i got. In the end I realize I have to protect my time for people and projects i care about.

Here’s what i did.

TLDR: time is limited, time that has passed will never come back. I learnt to schedule activities, events and projects i care about to get the kind of results i want be it financially, buying time back or spending with people i care about

The biggest 2 things i learnt:

  1. Schedule everything. This includes sleep time, rest time, slack / serendipity time, exercise time, everything – the more details that went into the calendar, the better. It made it easier to focus and to say no to things that dont fit the goal or the time.

  2. Prioritization of importance. Things may seem urgent, but frankly not everything is important, and not everything can be done. i have to just choose the best 3-4 things in a day to focus on. this also meant saying no to many events that were not critical or important.

Business-wise, it’s the same when it comes to decision making and prioritization. Choose the core 3-4 activities that progresses or grow the business and drop / ignore the stuff that isn’t as important for the time being.

There’s another 3 lessons i learnt to maximize my time, watch the video to find out.

One of the most self destructive habits we humans have is the sense of constant comparison, and it’s toxic. Let’s break that.

Comparing ourselves to others may be natural…but it’s terrible. Mostly, it just makes us feel worse and powerless…and worse, bitter. If you have loved ones, kids or employees, it’s important to change the way we compare such that it’s useful rather than disempowering. Here’s what I learnt.

TLDR: comparing negatively or without useful purpose can be disempoweringly painful and bitter especially when it’s too vague to do anything over, but we can reframe comparisons to be useful

Nigel, why you so fat compared to your friends and cousins?

Lol, that was one of the actual comparison that I personally received. The others that I can remember includes:

  • why cant you be as smart as your friend / cousin?

  • why cant you be as good / obedient as so-and-so?

Work-wise, I’ve come across these nuggets from clowns

  • why is employee B faster than you?

  • why must you be so difficult? why cant you just follow my grand (but stupid ideas) like employee C?

If I had a fucking dollar each time I hear these…thank goodness I am a little thick-skinned, and though it hurt then, it hurts less now.

These are all useless, vague and non-actionable comparisons that just makes me sad, pissed and bitter.

Look, we all compare all the time, it’s not something new, but it’s not useful to compare without purpose.

And dont compare just to annoy or disempower your kids or employees as bad habits. If you’re doing that, stop it.

Here’s how to do it better – since we’re gonna compare anyway (cos it’s natural), let’s at least make it useful, such as

  • compare to study the strengths and wins of others (trade improvement notes) eg “oh so and so got so good with their 3-pointer jump shot because they practiced it 2 hours a day every day”

  • compare to realize and know your own strengths (which is good) and the strengths of others to collaborate better