Love Involves Letting Go

Love

In fact, love can be construed largely as “Love IS Letting Go.”

Love is what makes the world works. It’s what that makes life work. It’s the origin of all sources and all energy. One of the most loving and wonderful thing we’ve been given from God is freewill.

Another word for it is the freedom of choice, which is a fundamental part of our being. It means that you can choose to love, or not. That is how we experience love from our creator God – He gave us the choice to choose.

Likewise, when you choose to love someone, you also give him or her that privilege of choice. They get to choose to connect to love you back…or not. Manipulating them to love you or to show you love in ways you accept doesn’t work, it’d make it swing in the other extreme direction, which is unlove.

Let’s take it one step deeper. If you love someone because they can love you the way you appreciate i.e. because of what they can give/provide, that’s not really love, that’s more lust. More self as in selfish. When you love, it’s always from a point of giving in abundance rather than trying to take in lack.

Here’s the challenge – giving them freedom and freewill to choose can be either very, very, very fulfilling and good, but the converse is also true, as it also can be very, very, very painful. When you allow them the freedom to choose for themselves, they may choose to make decisions or take actions that doesn’t coincide with you nor your values.

There has been many, many times in my own life where this had happened, be it in my career, business and in my personal life. Interestingly, each time the painful AND the joyful aspects of freewill and love happens, it brings me clarity, which is a step closer to a pillar of life, which is truth.

That brings me an awareness of how fleeting life is, and I’m reminded that life, both the painful and the joyful bits, are precious bits. And for that, I appreciate life more. I love more.

On the plus side, when you let go and provide the freedom of choice and will, there is also the upside that they will choose you and choose love, and when that happens, you would have one of the deepest joys in the world, a reciprocal loving relationship.

Letting go is paramount to love as once one holds on very hard, it no longer becomes love – it becomes torment, torture and manipulation. Such a situation will not nurture love. No one is capable of loving in instances where they are being manipulated or controlled. Controlling and manipulating isn’t giving, it’s taking away love, leaving one exhausted, tired and fatigued.

Both are true and applies to every one of us. You deserve to be with someone who loves you the way you are. You are deserving. You deserve someone who is loving, and confidently loving you that they allow you the space to choose and love back, should you want to. You are deserving.

Choose people who give you the space and freedom to decide. Likewise, you do the same for the people in your life – give them the space and freedom to decide. If it doesn’t work, acknowledge it, accept it and move on.

Love is letting go. I love, therefore I let go. I am loving. I am letting go. I am deserving.

Update 4th February 2020

Oh, this article that I wrote so long ago, I think I wrote it sometime in 2014 or 2015, and as I ponder the times of my sabbatical and exit from my previous business and starting over, this is something I am truly looking and feeling, that I am slowly…but surely letting go.

This sentence is very close to what I feel right now:

Love is letting go. I love, therefore I let go. I am loving. I am letting go. I am deserving.

Been feeling a little low, tired and was wondering if it was all worth it…but have concluded that:

  • it is worth it to love the people I decided to serve, even as some turn back to rubbish me, lie, scandalize and avoid me today
  • it is worth it to do my best and to decide to leave and close that chapter

It is worth it, as I did my best in love, honesty, rightness, goodness and in honor. No matter how much others try to use fake news to bury the truth of the matter, I chose love. And I choose to love still.

It’s nice to have people come up to me to validate me and acknowledge me and what good I’ve done for them…but knowing me, I don’t do it for recognition. I do good because I love and I care. Recognition is bonus if I get it (it’s kinda awkward still). Looking back, I am 100% convinced that leaving IS the right path to take, the confirmation is in seeing the actions and reactions of the people who claim to support and love me.

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