Be Kind to Your Parents — It’s Their First Time Living Too
There’s a quiet truth in that line that hits differently as you grow older.
When we were children, our parents felt like gods and giants — they knew everything, always have ALL the answers, and never failed us and always saved the day.
But…of course there’s a but. As we grow older, into our teenage years, young adult, adult, marriage and being parents ourselves…I begin to see with more clarity that, at least for myself, my parents are human too.
They’re figuring out lives, love, money, faith…yes, just like us.
It’s their first time living too, just that they’re a little earlier than us and have been dealt a different set of cards from their era and forefathers.
They ARE Human Before They Were Parents
When I became a father, I finally understood what my own parents went through — the constant juggling of emotions, work, expectations, and exhaustion.
I remember when Olivia was a baby and fell sick for the first time. I stayed up all night, just watching her chest rise and fall, afraid to sleep.
I carried her upright so that she can breathe - and sleep - better. For hours and hours on end, even till I dont even know what time of morning or night it was.
That moment gave me a flash of clarity — my parents must have done this countless times for me, without ever showing their fear.
They didn’t have Google.
No “parenting” podcasts.
No parenting hacks or courses.
They simply did what they could, with what they had.
📖 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” — Exodus 20:12
Grace for Their Imperfections
God only knows that I’ve had my fair share of frustration and disagreement with my parents.
Sometimes they made choices that hurt.
Sometimes they didn’t understand.
But over time, I learned that grace doesn’t excuse wrong — it simply sees the whole person.
Many of our parents grew up without the emotional vocabulary, the healing language, or the spiritual maturity we talk about today.
They were trying to build something better than what they had been given…they definitely wants their children’s (us/our) lives to be better than theirs — and that’s worth acknowledging.
📖 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation.
Sometimes it just means setting down the bitterness so we can walk free again.
The Circle of Life and Compassion
Now that I’m a father of three — Olivia, David, and Josh — I see more of my parents in me every day.
The impatience when I’m tired.
The worry when they’re hurt.
The quiet guilt when I realize I could have been gentler.
And it not just “humbles” me - it’s a double whammy - I could relate to my parent’s pains and frustrations…and yet they had to accept it, for I was a child then, who couldnt understand.
And I still dont understand shit today lol. There’s just so much to learn.
Because one day, my children will look at me the same way — wondering why I did what I did, why I fell short in certain areas.
I pray they’ll extend me the same grace I’m learning to give my parents now.
📖 “Do not despise your mother when she is old.” — Proverbs 23:22
Life is a circle. The same hands that once fed us will one day tremble and reach for ours.
How we treat them now teaches our children how to treat us later.
Unless They’re Truly Destructive
Let’s be real: not every parent is safe.
If your parents are manipulative, abusive, or spiritually toxic — you’re not called to stay in harm’s way.
Or they truly murdered, cheated and are in jail…
You can still honor them from a distance.
Jesus Himself walked away from certain people when their hearts were hardened.
Love doesn’t always mean staying close — sometimes, it means staying clean.
📖 “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” — Romans 12:18
The Gift of Time
The older I get, the more I realize: our time with our parents is short.
Today, my mum is 70ish. My in laws are also around that range. I dont know how long more I will have with her…nor with my in laws.
One day, they won’t be around to call us, to fuss over us, or to repeat the same stories we’ve heard a hundred times. Or sometimes to scold us unnecessarily out of fear or worry.
And when that day comes, those little irritations won’t matter - only love will.
So while they’re still here — call them.
Visit.
Say “thank you.”
Even if it feels awkward.
Even if the relationship is complicated.
📖 “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” — Proverbs 3:27
Final Thoughts
Be kind to your parents.
Not because they’re perfect — but because they’re people.
They’ve stumbled, struggled, and learned just like we have.
And God, in His wisdom, placed them in our lives to form us — sometimes through love, sometimes through pain.
I pray we all have the grace to honor them rightly — with compassion, truth, and love — while walking in the freedom Christ gave us.
I love you to my late father, my mother, my father-and-mother-in-law. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart and soul.
📖 “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” — John 13:34