43 Years, 5 Lessons: What Time and God Have Taught Me About Life, Legacy, and Letting Go
A birthday reflection on fatherhood, faith, business, brokenness, and the quiet hope that refuses to die
Today I turn 43.
That sentence feels surreal to write.
I still remember being the awkward 13-year-old boy with dreams too big for his tiny body and too tender a heart for this harsh world. I blinked, and suddenly—here I am. A husband. A father of three. A business owner. A budding writer.
A man who has failed deeply, hurt quietly, forgiven slowly, and loved fiercely.
I’m not where I thought I’d be.
But I know now: that’s the point.
If there’s one thing I’ve come to believe with every thread of my being, it’s this:
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”
— Proverbs 16:9
Here are five lessons I want to share with you—whoever you are—as I stand at the gates of 43. These are truths forged in the fire of experience, Scripture, and honest conversations with God.
1. The People You Love Most Will Hurt You Deeply—But That Doesn’t Mean You Stop Loving.
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting.
Forgiveness is surrendering the right to revenge.
Last year I chose to go no-contact with a number of people including someone in my family. Not out of hatred—but out of hard-earned wisdom and quiet love.
Because love doesn’t always look like closeness. Sometimes, love is creating distance so healing can begin…for all of us. Even if it’s for them alone.
And it’s okay.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
— Romans 12:18
Sometimes that peace means stepping away.
Sometimes it means letting them go so God can work without your interference.
And that’s hard. But it’s holy.
2. Obedience Often Looks Illogical on Paper.
I sold all my crypto at what most people would call “the wrong time.”
But I knew—God was prompting me. And since then, every dollar has gone into stewarding commercial property for my family’s future and God’s glory.
Was it perfect “crypto/world” timing? No.
Was it His timing? Yes.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
— Proverbs 3:5
If you wait for the world to validate your obedience, you’ll wait forever.
Obedience isn’t about comfort.
It’s about conviction.
And peace.
3. I Build for the Next Generation—Not Just the Next Paycheck.
I write so my kids will have something if I leave early.
I build businesses not just for profit, but to buy back time—to be there for the ones I love…and to build a financial legacy for their, my loved ones and my beloved God’s church.
Everything I do—whether it’s Phoenix Rehab, Substack, or investing—is tied to purpose, legacy, and eternity.
We’re not here to just “make it” - we’re called to multiply.
To bless others.
To break generational curses and chains, NOT put people in bondage and pain.
I long to be a man after God’s heart.
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.”
— Proverbs 13:22
It’s not just about money.
It’s about wisdom. Discipline. Integrity.
It’s about leaving them a map, a love of God, reference to good character and values legacy, not just a mansion.
4. Most People Waste Their Lives in Fear. Don’t Be One of Them.
Be it….
Fear of failure.
Fear of man.
Fear of losing approval, income, status.
Been there, done that.
Fear is a liar dressed in caution’s clothing. And it’ll whisper you into a life of regret. I remind myself, often forgetting many times, but when I remember, this rings out loud in my ears:
If God is for you, who can be against you?
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
— 2 Timothy 1:7
At 43, I’d rather be misunderstood and walk with God…than be liked by everyone and walk in circles.
5. Time Is Your Most Expensive Resource. Spend It Where It Matters.
There’s no refund for wasted years.
Zilch. Nada. Zero.
You won’t get back that extra hour you spent doom-scrolling, fighting online, or chasing validation.
But you can choose differently today.
As I step into this next year, I’m choosing:
More slow mornings with God and coffee.
More cuddles with my children while they still want to climb into my lap.
More building quietly while others chase loudly.
More writing what matters—even if it reaches only one soul.
Because if I can point just one person closer to Christ, it’s worth it.
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
— Psalm 90:12
And My Hope?
That I live the rest of my life with open hands and a soft heart.
That my children will one day say: “Dad wasn’t perfect, but he loved God and he showed us how to live with courage.”
That the books I write, the clinics we build, the people we serve, the people we love, the land we buy, the stories we tell—all of it—will echo beyond my lifetime.
That I will finish strong.
But most of all, let the stories of me, ring the bells of Christ in earth and in heaven. Oh God, may all I do, glorify you.
That I will hear:
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Thank you for reading.
I don’t take it for granted that you’re here.
If you’re turning 43 too—or 23, or 63—maybe these five lessons will meet you where you are; God’s NOT done with you yet.
He’s just getting started.
Greater works are yet to be done in you, where you are.
Let’s walk this next 6 months with faith, fire, and full surrender.
nigelchua