Comparing ourselves to others may be natural…but it’s terrible. Mostly, it just makes us feel worse and powerless…and worse, bitter. If you have loved ones, kids or employees, it’s important to change the way we compare such that it’s useful rather than disempowering. Here’s what I learnt.
TLDR: comparing negatively or without useful purpose can be disempoweringly painful and bitter especially when it’s too vague to do anything over, but we can reframe comparisons to be useful
Nigel, why you so fat compared to your friends and cousins?
Lol, that was one of the actual comparison that I personally received. The others that I can remember includes:
why cant you be as smart as your friend / cousin?
why cant you be as good / obedient as so-and-so?
Work-wise, I’ve come across these nuggets from clowns
why is employee B faster than you?
why must you be so difficult? why cant you just follow my grand (but stupid ideas) like employee C?
If I had a fucking dollar each time I hear these…thank goodness I am a little thick-skinned, and though it hurt then, it hurts less now.
These are all useless, vague and non-actionable comparisons that just makes me sad, pissed and bitter.
Look, we all compare all the time, it’s not something new, but it’s not useful to compare without purpose.
And dont compare just to annoy or disempower your kids or employees as bad habits. If you’re doing that, stop it.
Here’s how to do it better – since we’re gonna compare anyway (cos it’s natural), let’s at least make it useful, such as
compare to study the strengths and wins of others (trade improvement notes) eg “oh so and so got so good with their 3-pointer jump shot because they practiced it 2 hours a day every day”
compare to realize and know your own strengths (which is good) and the strengths of others to collaborate better
I’m the founder and writer here at NigelChua.com; as well as serial entrepreneur, therapy business entrepreneur, digital entrepreneur, investor and also happy husband, father and Christian.
I love good success and freedom and learned early in life on importance of making more and entrepreneurship. Started and sold off a business for 7-figures; built another 7-figure one and growing it further, as well as building/investing into other businesses and investments as well as advisory works.
I help motivate and/or bring clarity to people as to building their lives based on what matters most to them – this could be earning more with entrepreneurship or a side hustle; or scaling back their expenses (or kill their mindless spending and keeping up with the Joneses’); improving communications, relationships, problem-solving and other growth-related matters.
All for one main purpose: to help readers become happier by build their lives according to what matters most to them.
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