Empathy: How I Feel Sorry For People Who Do Me Wrong

I don’t know how to write this…other than I usually have two major senses when someone goes out of their way to do me wrong.

Initially it would hurt and sting.

Then very soon, the hurt would become 50% sting / hurt and then 50% feeling sorry for them.

Then 25% pain, then 10% then lingering few percentages of pain.

The remaining feelings?

I start to feel sorry for them.

Because I know how one does one thing, will spillover into other areas of their lives. And I imagine how sorry and terrible their lives must be, because how one behaves reflects how one thinks/values.

That would mean that it would suck tremendously for them to be them in their heart, brain and soul.

An example and illustration is a liar: he or she would have to keep thinking

  • remembering all their lies (to keep the lies / front)
  • how to perpetuate the lies especially when truth surfaces (truth ALWAYS surfaces)
  • how many people are lying to them and how they must outlie / dig up the truth
  • etc

That’s JUST one facet.

Imagine if they have multiple facets: lying, cheating, defrauding etc.

What a complete waste of time – I know for certain that they’d either continue living like that, be surrounded by people who are similar and/or perpetuate that kinds of lifestyle in their heads, hearts and souls. To me, that’s a terrible way of living, it’s a prison.

Living Prison + Self Damage

Well, I know I don’t need to take any action for such individuals because their actions will catch up with them. Not only would the truth surface eventually (which they have to deal with it cos they perpetuate untruths so it’d go back to them anyway), and some examples are:

Two main antagonists, let’s call them:

  • Jellybrains
    • Backtracked on words, spread malicious lies (this is the same kind of person that when they don’t like you, will buy something for everyone else BUT you)
    • Was the kind of person that was superficial, reactive, echo-chamber that loves drama and side taking. Will make sure to bitch behind your back and buy drinks for everyone but you to let you know you’re disliked.
    • “Team” eventually left them entirely, like 100% of them left. One can try to copy leadership and push lies but the truth always surfaces – people can see, they’re not dumb.
    • Eventually more people started to ask me “what’s the story of this” ie their lies are being poked and prodded. People are not dumb: they can see through.
  • Unwell
    • Went out of their way to take what belonged to me and spread malicious lies (these are the kinds of person that will spread lies, backtrack to make themselves look good, use coercion and act blur
    • Seems “impressive track record”. Yet, their 10+ year dream has gone up entirely in smoke with multiple large failures, with confirmation of my sense that they will not fulfill their promise to people who they coerced/cheated to stay
    • Rapid number of people leaving and pretty nasty reputation in the market place.
    • Even the leader of the pack got caught with personal failures and had their spouses leaving them.

And many more of such stories.

Don’t Seek Revenge

  • Truly revenge belongs to the Lord, so I’ll leave it to Him (For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the LORD.” Romans 12:19)
  • Eventually they trip over their own evil and get caught in their own evil schemes and machinations
    • A wicked person will be trapped by his own wrongs, and he will be caught in the ropes of his own sin. Proverbs 5:22
    • Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by in safety. Psalms 141:10
    • See how wicked people think up evil; they plan trouble and practise deception. But in the traps they set for others, they themselves get caught. So they are punished by their own evil and are hurt by their own violence. I thank the LORD for his justice, I sing praises to the LORD, the Most High. Psalms 7:14-17
  • They had their place to play in the large game (And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) even evil pharaoh in the bible had a role to play and Judas remember?

Plus it’s a massive waste of time, and revenge only serves to beget more feelings of revenge, and more importantly, it will detract you from your purpose and calling. Do not get distracted.

Yes it’s painful and stinging, but as I shared: they’d usually trip over their own evil and machinations (or they annoy some bigger fish with bigger machinations: do not go down that path).

You see, I’ve shared earlier that they will get into trouble sooner than later – I do this not to gloat or celebrate or to curse them, but to remind myself and document as-a-matter-of-fact.

I feel sorry for them for living in such a self-perpetuating-self-victim vicious cycle, also I don’t need to seek revenge or vengeance:

It is very fascinating to see how the bible is so true and alive today still, centuries after it was written.

Better to keep doing the basics and good things

Such as providing good services and good work.

Doing things the right way.

Don’t rush to become rich or powerful by cheating or cutting corners.

Do things right and slow.

Let your good work speak for itself.

“Let your work speak for itself:
If poor, it will remain silent.
If average, it will whisper.
If good, it will talk.
If great, it will shout.
If genius, it will sing.”

Matshona Dhliwayo

Where To Next?


  • If you’re new here, do subscribe to my newsletter – no spam and just my best stuff. Unsubscribe anytime.
  • Go to the Start Here it’s created to be my good success and life thesis, so it’s very content heavy (Read: lots of words and links to resources, write ups and videos). It’s constantly updated too with new data and updates as often as I can.
  • If you like videos, head to All Videos – all the latest (and all) videos are uploaded there.
  • Visit the Blog to read the latest articles and videos. You can see all / my entire list of previous articles here: Archive
  • Head over my Resources page to see the curated products and services I use / have used to improve different aspects of my life be it business, relationships, health and more. Note: recommendations in nigelchua.com may be affiliate links, which means I may get paid if you choose to buy through my affiliate link.
  • If you’d like to ask me any questions, head to the Questions/Ask Nigel section
  • Contact me if you like to thank me for helping you in some way (please, always tell me – it’s such emails that I truly look forward to), interview me, ask me to try a product, or media inquiries.
  • If you like my work and want to support me / my cause by giving a tip / donation or choose to buy stuff at my products and tool page – thank you for your support. You keep me going.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.