Don’t Settle And Don’t Sell Yourself Short

Silver lining of COVID-19 is that it shook everything and turned many things upside down.

I hate that people suffered health-wise, and many died due to this pandemic. There is nothing that can change this fact and pain.

On the small upside, this pandemic forced to change.

We had to stay home, stay safe, and not surprisingly, we had many downtimes.

It’s in the silence of the downtime that we can usually hear ourselves and our thoughts, and I think the common question is that “is this it?”

As in, is this the kind of life we want?

Comfortable, Peaceful Living?

I live in peaceful, safe and stable Singapore.

Women and children can walk outside at 3 AM in the morning and they’d be 99.9% safe.

I run a business called Phoenix Rehab, a physical therapy, hand therapy , TCM and massage business.

I sleep well at night (other than my newborn waking me up) – I’m alive.

I thought this was okay.

I thought it was okay to be living a quiet-ish life where I

  • mind my own business (and dont bother others)
  • have food and water
  • and enough, money’s okay (we’re doing not bad as physical therapists)

And that running my business would be enough.

But i’m starting to ask myself if i’m shortchanging myself.

As in, am I wasting my own time?

My abilities?

Am I settling?

In 2022, I’m 40 years old.

As I mentioned earlier, for a hand therapist with a physio wife, we did (and do) pretty okay with growing a business, selling our first business for 7-figures.

My wife then went on to start a business and I even got an 18 month sabbatical before I decided to help her out.

We’ve a wonderful team and business as well as 3 beautiful kids.

I’m grateful but also uncertain

Like there’s a nagging sensation or sense…

like a spider-sense eh

As I started off earlier, one of the key benefits of the pandemic is that it turned almost everything on its head. In 2020, Singapore goverment got most of us to stay home for a good 1-2ish months.

It was uncertain times, and many of my competitors and people were very vocal about how dissatisfied they were yada yada…but I felt at home because of my 18 months sabbatical, and I could be more with my kids and wife.

I like(d) it.

The downtime gave me a reminder and question if the life we’ve been living is the one we want to keep doing.

Hey it’s not just me, it’s many.

Like many others, I too question.

It seems that it’s a movement where people are taking action en masse, see some examples:

We’re talking millions of people quitting jobs as they pivot.

No longer willing to settle, or maybe they’re just tired of lockdowns.

Then again, there are many bullshit jobs out there –

bullshit jobs are jobs you dont care for that you do to pay the bills…the kind of jobs where you dread Mondays and look forward for end of day on Fridays.

Bullshit jobs…have bad negative effects.

The highest problem is that they make you sad. They make people sad…but ironically, many people will do their level best to NOT lose their bullshit jobs.

Why?

Cos it pays the bills, and it’s pretty easy to “coast”. It’s easier in big companies where there are many layers of people that support other layers of people and more.

Ew, typing that was painful reminder as to why I stay an entrepreneur, cos I’ve met many bullshit individuals in corporates and even competitors.

If you love your job, you’re the top 15% lucky ones.

According to Gallup’s State of The Workplace Report, 85% of Americans are extremely disengaged at work and 81% are actively looking for new jobs.

85% and in my book, that’s majority of people have bullshit jobs they dislike or gasp, hate.

And that’s where the pandemic are shaking things up.

People are quitting bullshit jobs to find one that either

  • makes more money for them
  • provides more flexibility
  • more meaningful

There are more taking up entrepreneurship too:

A whopping 5.4 million new businesses registered in 2021!

Bloody good if you ask me – it’s easier and easier in the history of mankind to launch your own business and make money on your own terms. It takes lots of passion, gusto, and work.

Problem: It’s easy to hide.

I see this everywhere I go.

In fact, I’ve also faced individuals and corporations who daringly do blatantly wrong things…because they likely wont get caught. These guys and gals? Fuck them, I dont care.

But those I care about, the everyday people, who reach out and tell me that they feel stuck.

I reach back and tell them that they usually know it in their sense and intuition.

And then they write back that they’re scared (behind multiple layers of fears and what-ifs).

I empathize.

I’ve been there, and in some levels, I am still there.

I’ve been stuck many times.

Sometimes it takes months for me to overcome, sometimes its longer for it to “click” or for me to just give it a go.

Let me tell you something about intuition – your intuition is one of the most powerful sensors and inner compasses that you can have. The more I use it and hone it and trust it, the better and better it becomes.

…and the more it works for me.

Recently my intuition has been saying that I’ve been playing and thinking too small.

That I’ve been playing it “safe”.

I’m paying attention and putting my senses to writing, on paper.

One thing I realize is that my intuition is pretty spot on, and the more I resist it, the worse I usually get.

Upset I mean.

No, upset is not the word.

It’s really like tingling spider-senses which gets stronger and stronger, and eventually I cannot ignore it.

And when I do it, it’s like

Why did I take so long to do that?

Usually it leads to growth

Why I ignore these “spider-sense tingling” is because there is change and effort…which means it can lead to

  • failure
  • confrontations
  • changes
  • growth
  • insight

I like growing and learning – this is so “sexy” on paper.

Just that real learning and growth sometimes the process is painful and annoying, ugh.

I look back at my 20 year old self and my Lord, I wouldn’t recognize him.

And neither would he recognize me – I was a sucky, lumpy idiot back then.

Less of an idiot today, and I’ve grown so much too.

It’s easy to settle…but it’s costly

Coasting and settling is easy…but it’s very very costly.

Not in terms of just money (which we can count easily), but moreso in terms of opportunity cost.

No one lies in their death bed asking themselves:

I wished I earn $2M more, ah I could die better now.

Of course not.

On our deathbeds, I imagine we regret all the opportunities we do not take.

AKA settling.

We settle cos we’re scared.

We settle when we dont know what else to do.

We settle when it’s just easier to stay status quo or do nothing as compared to thinking hard and doing and failing again and again to figure out and course correct what we actually want to do.

When you’re doing well, everyone will tell you to keep doing what you’re doing.

You see, capitalism runs on that – doing X gets Y, and if we want more Y, do more X. Model that, and do it again and again. Squeeze processes and things and stuff and sometimes people.

Rinse and repeat.

Knowing yourself is the beginning.

I know I dont need $1B.

Heck, I dont even aim for $100M.

I dont even want to run a big company, or take a company public, or become a celebrity or politician.

All I want is…to be free, healthy and happy.

And that remains the same.

Alright back to my intuition: I’m starting to sense that I am on the cusp of something.

That I cannot play small or safe any more.

Like I need to go deeper, double or triple down.

Stop wasting time.

Make a bigger impact as I live and leave the world.

What about you?

Are you shortchanging yourself?

What keeps you going?

What are your burning passions that keeps you going?

  • Is it for the better future of your loved ones?
  • Is it to give back to the world and society?
  • Is it to prove someone else wrong? And prove yourself right?

Is there even a correct answer to this question?

Everyone’s reasons should be different and unique, though there may be some similarities when we compare as a group or from a broad based perspective.

The reasons may change as seasons in life change.

When I was younger in my tens and twenties, it was to survive.

Then in my 30s, it was to thrive and prove to myself and those that seem to look down on me.

Now, as I’m 40, it’s for my family and myself.

Deep down, I know my reasons are my kids, my loved ones, and I want to show my loved ones a better way of life. That it isn’t just about studying hard, getting a good job, working, buying shit we dont care about, then one day, we die.

Ugh, that’s depressing as heck to me.

I dont want that for me, my loved ones or for you – that’s not a good way.

A better way to a good life is to build a business we care about, ideally an online business that provides passive business income, that can work 24/7, providing good value to clients who love paying us, and yet at the same time, frees up our time to do stuff we love, and more.

A life where we have more control over the time and energy we put in.

Or where we work from.

And more.

Do you know what’s your burning reasons that keep you going?

Small Tests Leads To More Successes

All of us want to be more successful – if i asked 100 people if they

  1. want to wake up earlier
  2. have a better relationship
  3. work out more
  4. and make more money

i can guarantee you that most if not all of us will say yes to the above.

Imagine if you could double your productivity at work; or you could speak to anyone at work or at a party, or achieve whatever you’re interested in – how does that sound to you?

Yeah, even if you’re just starting out and not an expert

Welcome to the world of small tests =)

I find testing fun and i test many things on a small scale first before i put in more resources and here in this video I cover 2 examples;

  1. how I make sure i go to the gym twice a week
  2. how I never miss flossing my teeth

i believe you can use a testing approach to improve your success rates in virtually anything, and the way i did it was to

  1. do a miniature-version of the activity on a scale of say 10:1
  2. trial run at least 3x
  3. once i found that it works, i “keep” the process of what works and drop what doesnt

Remember those 2 examples?

Here’s how i will do small test to increase chances of stickiness and success:

1) How I make sure i go to the gym twice a week

  • It begins BEFORE I even sign up to the gym membership.
  • First, I will check out the gym to make sure that the equipment are what I use
  • Then check the price
  • If equipment and price is within my range, the next important factor is to decide how to make gym part of my travel and calendar flow I looked at my calendar and activities and matched the gym location to my location and activities
  • Then did 3 trial runs I literally did a free gym class so I could travel to and fro once; and did once more travel to gym and back
  • Once i’m convinced that the flow is smooth, it’s easy – now i’m at gym naturally 2x a week

2) How I never miss flossing my teeth

  • I realized i never had a flossing practice when my dentist told me that i needed to start flossing (this was after I got married), and i tried a few different process to see which was best to make me floss daily I first tried by going to floss my teeth after dinner, but that process by itself was weird, cos it ended up sometimes me eating still or snacking which made the earlier flossing redundant
  • Secondly, i tried to time my flossing before bedtime, but often i get too tired so i just sleep and go lalaland – fail again Third time was the charm, so i decided that i would create a combo-move, where I know i need to sleep, i need to eat, i need to floss, and i will shower, so why not floss-shower-sleep at the end of the day?
  • That worked.

Ive flossed everyday since.

I apply this small test approach to virtually anything new that i want to try or implement – it doesnt make sense for me to blow $10K on a new experiment, I will first try with $100 to see if it justifies. Sometimes it’s using a smaller budget.

It’s not always money.

Sometimes it’s using less time eg instead of committing 2 hours to a hike, i try for 20 minutes.

Like moving house – instead of immediately buying a new one and selling, we’re renting first, to test the area and market, to see if we like the new area. The reasons why I like this approach is because it’s “small” – its low cost in terms of effort and maybe costs, but the results can be huge – potentially life changing. Imagine if you found an investment where you put in $100 and you get $200, how much would you then put in?

As much as possible right?

Conversely, if you decided to gamble without testing, and you lose everything, how would that feel?

Sucky.

That’s why small tests are great – they give you data and clarity, which will make decision making easy How would you try small tests? Let me know in the comments below