How to use positive, hope and growth narratives to help you through hard times and positively impact your life experiences

Tell me about your life story, describe to me what you’d learnt, what you’ve lived through and experienced…

And how you tell these stories will shape your life and experiences now and in the future.

Negative / contamination storytelling bad

Let me give you an example:

For example, if you tend to tell stories about

  • how difficult your life is

  • how X person did this to you (stole your credit, took your stuff, made you feel bad)

  • how everything always goes wrong

  • how life isn’t fair

This is known as negative storytelling, also known as “Contamination Storytelling”

Contamination stories like its name, these stories causes contamination, weaknesses and disempowerment. Most of the time, people who subscribe to this way of storytelling consciously or unconsciously create and perpetuate more

  • feelings of powerlessness or

  • feeling like a victim

It’s a very common way of telling stories…but I want to introduce a different and better way of story telling.

Redemptive storytelling good

It’s the other side of the coin, which is known as “Redemptive Storytelling”, kinda like the balance between good and bad.

People who believe their lives are meaningful, worth something, they tend to tell stories that are filled with hope, growth, learnings (lessons learnt) and love.

Redemptive stories bring about stronger sense of identities and empowerment and they continue to feel that

  • their lives have purpose and meaning

  • they have sense of control

No denials or lies needed

Look I don’t believe in lying at all.

Neither is denials good or needed.

We don’t have to lie or “spin”, truths are truths, but we can reframe the way we tell our stories, be it to ourselves or others.

Just by making small tweaks, micro-edits to your personal stories, you can feel very powerful effects on your self of self, purpose and well being.

How to change your inner dialogue for your own good?

I use these words: What I learnt & What I Hope

  • using the words “What I learnt” makes you take on the hat of a student, where you’re learning and finding lessons in the experience

  • using the words “What I hope” puts a perspective of hope in the future

So instead of saying, my life is so difficult, you can reframe it very specificly to say:

I learnt to hone and harness patience working in this painful place, and I hope this patience that I learnt becomes a powerful ability when I became a mum / dad / fur parent / entrepreneur etc

Reframe your narrative and stories for a better life experience and mental health

Why I share this is because I know we not only create our own personal histories as we live and experience life forward, BUT we must remember that we have the power and ability to write, rewrite and reframe our life stories to live life with meaning, love and purpose…

…just by choosing what we want to focus on.

Today, I encourage you to choose to fill your stories with hope, growth, lessons and love.

What stories will you tell going forward?

Prioritize Doing Right And Good

Prioritizing doing right and good is always right and good, no matter how difficult or unpopular it is.

And the upside is right and good leads to more right and good later (boomerang effect) which tends to grow rather than tear/break-down.

What’s the point of doing things the wrong way?

Or choosing the easy path but not good path?

There is no merits in doing that at all.

Doing right and good is the easiest and sustainable approach to life and success.

Doing The Right Thing…Is Always The Right Thing

Doing the right thing…is always the right and good thing to do.

It’s practical, straightforward, it’s good and sustainable.

I’ve never understood why people cheat, lie, scam or do wrong stuff – it’s so much easier and better to just do good and the right thing. Not rocket science.

It’s just so much easier and direct to just tell the truth and be honest.

Stop Worrying About The Opinion Of Others

There is an insecurity and fear of “that you cannot let others say something bad or negative about you/me”

I’ve seen this repeatedly done and mentioned, like a mantra from children to adults to employees and even people in authority. It’s like a broken record, where so many people are afraid of judgement by others, especially negative ones.

So I’d like to talk about this.

Firstly you must know that many people are reactive, fearful and insecure rather than being loving, kind and generous. This itself will give you insight that not all data matters.

EVEN if they’re said by your parents or loved ones.

Secondly, it doesn’t really matter because in the end, you have to own your own life. You cant live your life based on what others tell you to do. That by itself is already a sure way to be unhappy, because you leave your happiness in the words, whims and fancies of others. Which many are idiots.

Thirdly, negative thoughts are much more sticky compared to good ones – a single negative thought can be 20X more sticky in your head and heart. An example is that if you have 10 people who love you but 1 who totally hates you – you may find that the one that hates you tends to be in your heart more often.

Lastly, we need to recognize and be aware that we’re good at somethings and not good at others. Focus on honing your strengths rather than patching or improving your weaknesses. If possible do both, but if you have to choose, focus on improving your strength. The real question is how do we deal with this?

I mainly take a functional operator point of view, which I use a filter, with these guiding questions:

  1. Is this true?
  2. Is this helpful or useful?
  3. Is this kind?
  4. Is this my priority?

2X Immigration Leads To Practicality And Success

Immigration isn’t a new concept to me, and you know what, I am immensely grateful for the multiple immigration moves that we did in our lives.

Location wise, I had two large immigration movement from Seremban (Negeri Sembilan) to Johor (Uncle place for a few weeks) and then once more to Taman Tasik where we rented our own space and then to Permas Jaya when my dad could afford his own space. This itself is four movements.

Later I migrated to Singapore when I was 20, and from there, make large but calculated moves from employee to agency to single clinic to multi-clinic chan, and in the process get played out by unscrupulous landlords and business owners who just played the short game (that’s why many of them fail to grow big or fail to go public/IPO or others – it’s because they cut corners).

These immigration and other big moves are quite helpful to form my ability to survive and thrive amidst change, to look forward and anticipate good and important changes, and also, to move away from projects and people that are time-wasters and just out to cheat/play in the short term.

Stop Chasing Money

Stop chasing money.

Period.

Too many people prioritize money over health, relationships, people and even themselves.

And yes, money is important, but it is NOT more important than health, relationships and people. People who think that way are sad and one-dimensional. It doesn’t work that way, the world is interesting such that once you choose to do what is good and right, money will chase you.

And as long as you chase money, it will be elusive.

Don’t be deceived, God isn’t mocked or deceivable – He can see all things and at the end of days, we will have to account for all we do, right and wrong.

So repent and do things the right way, and chase after God – everything else, including money, will chase after you after.

 

On Hope

Faith, Hope and Love and the three pillars of internal strength and from it pours out many of the other aspects of mastery including courage, trust, etc

In this video, I cover about holding fast to hope even though we may experience setbacks, setups, pains, suffering, and even after all those, to hold onto hope.

My hope is in Jesus Christ, and I happily share His name to the world because He is a solid rock which can hold and anchor me safely.

Do not give up – there is always hope.

Be Damn Good or Be Mediocre

There two (2) ways to live life generally:

  1. Be damn good at what you do
  2. Be mediocre and tear everyone/everything else down so you look good

Of course, the best approach is to be damn good at what you do, but it’s hard work – you have to keep leveling up, keep pressing on forward and doing the right and good things and you may be victim to sociopaths who will happily play you and throw you under the bus for their profit or merriment.

Yet, still choose love and choose good success.

At the end of our lives, we will have to account – would you want to account for a good life or a bad life?

To me, it’s quite straightforward – do the right and good things, and everything will fall into place, despite challenges, pains and setbacks.

Sorrowful Versus Joyful Money

Yeah there IS such thing about sorrowful money versus joyful money.

Sorrowful money is typically achieved with bad sorrows, and comes with a lot of bad sorrows too as the price to pay.

Conversely, joyful money comes with lots of joy, happiness and satisfaction.

Whenever possible, make decisions to choose work, career or life that creates joyful money – nothing in this world can be better than that (other than God, of course). Little to no stress, healthy, happy – what more can we ask for?

As opposed to scheming manipulations, lies, politicking and bad stuff like that.

Disgusting Quote #23 – Do You Smell The Money Here

I heard this quote from someone I used to know personally, who would tell me that they’re not there for money, they serve their God, but would repeated tell me these kind of quotes on money.

This very same person unfortunately will also throw people under the bus, antagonize others, lie…all to protect themselves and to hurt others so that they can either go up higher in promotions and to look better.

Don’t do that.

Instead, I want to recommend that you build a damn good life, career, business, relationships that is sustainable, scalable and infinite growth on whatever you care about, instead of being mediocre and tearing others down to look good.