There is an insecurity and fear of “that you cannot let others say something bad or negative about you/me”
I’ve seen this repeatedly done and mentioned, like a mantra from children to adults to employees and even people in authority. It’s like a broken record, where so many people are afraid of judgement by others, especially negative ones.
So I’d like to talk about this.
Firstly you must know that many people are reactive, fearful and insecure rather than being loving, kind and generous. This itself will give you insight that not all data matters.
EVEN if they’re said by your parents or loved ones.
Secondly, it doesn’t really matter because in the end, you have to own your own life. You cant live your life based on what others tell you to do. That by itself is already a sure way to be unhappy, because you leave your happiness in the words, whims and fancies of others. Which many are idiots.
Thirdly, negative thoughts are much more sticky compared to good ones – a single negative thought can be 20X more sticky in your head and heart. An example is that if you have 10 people who love you but 1 who totally hates you – you may find that the one that hates you tends to be in your heart more often.
Lastly, we need to recognize and be aware that we’re good at somethings and not good at others. Focus on honing your strengths rather than patching or improving your weaknesses. If possible do both, but if you have to choose, focus on improving your strength. The real question is how do we deal with this?
I mainly take a functional operator point of view, which I use a filter, with these guiding questions:
- Is this true?
- Is this helpful or useful?
- Is this kind?
- Is this my priority?