Remember the great hit song, “ The Greatest pretender?”
After so many years (as of 2021, I am 39 years old), I finally understood a portion of what this means – it points to people who don’t know themselves and they pretend that are someone else in order for them not be judged or feel like an outcast because of their true identity.”
This will make more sense when we have already established how these individuals do things differently than his/her authentic self (their real-self). We also need some clarification later on talking specifically about hiding one thing vs other parts with a person’s identify; such as pretending to hide being gay, lying to look good etc.
The lyrics of “The Great Pretenders” by Chrissie Hynde and Pretenders, is a song about the many people who are not themselves. They pretend to be someone else to fit in, earn that dollar or get something they want etc. The pretense becomes their identity.
The lyrics of “I’m not myself today” by The Beatles is another song about people who are pretending to be someone else.
- In the first sentence, change ‘pretend’ with a synonym: pretend – act as if you’re something that’s different from what your true self really feels like.
- In this case it would read “… many don’t know themselves and they put on an identity for others so…” or …many hide their real selves behind masks.”
This will make more sense in context because we have already established how these individuals do things differently than themselves (their authentic/true-selves). It also makes clear why there may need some clarification later when talking specifically bout hiding one thing vs other parts of their identity.
In the second sentence, change ‘pretend’ with a synonym: pretend – act as if you’re something that’s different from what your true self really feels like.”
The truth of the matter is this: people are fascinating – they can be either “good” ie subscribing to a positive, good and even Godly moral compass (I term this as “Good Success” where everyone wins and the world improves) versus a group of people who will want to win at all costs (or winning no matter what the costs).
There is a price to pay for everything – there is no such thing as a free lunch.
Even if one says that “it’s normal, EVERYBODY cheats / manipulates / lies” – this doesn’t mean that it’s right.
In fact, usually following the masses is typically NOT the right approach to good success and the good life…because most of the masses will just be average. Imagine…if everyone murders and maims…does that make it right and good?
Of course not.
It doesn’t matter if EVERYONE lies, cheats or manipulates (or do bad stuff to others to win) – it’s still wrong you know. There is absolutely no prize to win by cheating to get ahead. The problem is that the world has become very short term and shallow due to outdated leadership and business teachings, that
they can throw people under the bus, fire en masse to balance the books and do shit such as paying the CEO 300X and more of what the average workers earn, or lie and defame others to look good
In fact they are “publicly rewarded for doing so” – and this is the key problem. That is just plain evil and wrong. To me, that is obviously bad success. The thing is this – there are many people who either are not courageous to do things the right and good way, instead opting for the convenient and easy way.
It’s easy to see these kind of people:
Just go into any family units or organizations and ask “who’s the asshole here”
The group will automatically point to a select 1-3 of assholes.
Converses, if you want to find the good leaders who subscribe to Good Leadership and adding value and helping, ask this question to any companies or groups:
Who can you trust to have your back, to lookout for you; or is the person you consistently go to in times of need?
Again, the group will automatically point to a select group of 1-3 good success leaders.
I call and coin this term: Good Success. Subscribing to good values and good leadership and truly practicing what one preaches is very hard. It can be inconvenient indeed.
- That shady company who decided to cheat individuals of their time and their business ownership with savvy knowhow and legalese; and even set aside funding and effort to defame the owner(s) to get away with what they did.
- That unscrupulous business partner who approached all the employees of the company to poach them away, and solicited many of the clients of the organizations, opening just next door and all these in direct violation of contractual agreements.
- And individuals who still follow such shady and unscrupulous practices despite knowing because they “smell and follow” sexy money
For me, I still stand by doing the right thing, and to be consistent. I am capitalistic. Yet, doing things the right way, deep and good foundations, the slow way is my preferred way.
And expectedly yet still fascinatingly, more and more people are coming to me to
- want work with me
- want to invest with me
- want to grow with me
The slow way is the short cut.
And conversely, the people who were poached by that scheming unscrupulous individual?
- two of them were terminated in within 7 days (it was hilarious when they said “wow, was I fired in 7 days by asking for improved work conditions?” – they had picked a seemingly sexier “right but actually wrong side”)
- two of them turned that individual down
- two of who were poached grew their business with us manifolds and are sticking with us
In the end, doing what’s good and right…is good and right.
One may try to look sexy, scream louder, throw more money – but
what and who you are is so loud that your words don’t matter – they’re cheap
People aren’t dumb (yes, a large number wants to see and hear what they want to see and hear; and the evil corporations and individuals use the approach of “lie until the lie becomes truth”) and you can cheat someone for a while. And if they have decent sense, sooner or later they can see who’s lying and doing stuff that’s unsavory after all.
Once in a while I think of the person who asked “wow was I fired in 7 days” and I’m both sad for the people who have been cheated by these kind of fraudulent organizations and individuals…but also delighted that I no longer have to work with such people.
Many people don’t know who they really are; they put on an act for others so that they won’t be judged or rejected; or to have a “strong and bold” facade. This will also “give them power or confidence” to do bad things that they usually wont do to their parents or loved ones.
Well, good luck to them I guess.
Now let’s ask the real questions:
“What does your life look like without any pretense?”
Never mind the great pretenders who wants to perpetuate their pretense – they’re not ready to face the truth and to do good.
Focus on you: what will you and your life look and be like without any pretense?
- How would your personal relationships be?
- How would your work relationships be?
- How would you think?
- How would you make decisions?
I’m the founder and writer here at NigelChua.com; as well as serial entrepreneur, therapy business entrepreneur, digital entrepreneur, investor and also happy husband, father and Christian.
Started and sold off a business for 7-figures; built another 7-figure one and growing it further, plus building/investing into other businesses and investments as well as advisory works.
Nowadays I share and teach entrepreneurship, financial independence, retiring early as well as building and living a life you love.
Thank you so much for your time and I hope it’s helpful for you.